u/Otherwise-Eye-490

Man, year 7 have nearly done me in this year. I have never struggled with a class as much as this in my many years of teaching. I am at my wits’ end with the immaturity - and it hasn’t improved although they’re nearly in year 8. The calling out, constant silliness, constant tattle taling, absolute lack of awareness or empathy, and not seeming to care about sanctions, detentions etc. I would rather deal with defiant 6ft tall year 11s swearing at me than all this bonkers immature nonsense. It’s absolutely wearing me out. It’s just relentless. The narrating constantly. Don’t even get me started on the ‘6 7’ ‘good boy’ stuff. I’m not having success with any of my usual behaviour management strategies so I wondered if any amazing primary colleagues have some magic suggestions?!

I just don’t understand how people do it. For context, was with my ex husband from the age of 21. Separated after 12 years due to infidelity on his part. Had lots of counselling etc but couldn’t make it work. Have been separated 5 years, divorced 3. He has had 3 serious (live-in) relationships in that time, all overlapping, hasn’t been single. I’ve had…2 first dates 😂

Now that the children (who are with me 95% of the time) are a bit older it would be a bit easier for me to date but oh god I just can’t do it. I don’t understand how you mentally go from a relationship where you knew everything about each other, the comfortable intimacy, the shared history, just being KNOWN, back to ‘so what do you like to do for fun?’ Honestly I’m asking - how do you bring yourself to do it?

That’s before I even address the issue of how you bring yourself to trust again after being so betrayed. I recently had a first date with what seemed like a nice man but I found myself looking for red flags and reasons not to trust him. I’ve had counselling, I’ve built a life I love, and I’m really happy in myself. But no amount of counselling can change the bald facts that the last person I loved and trusted treated me terribly in the end. My logical brain tells me that I saw no red flags or signs that would happen, so logically, I probably wouldn’t see them with someone else, so logically the only way to protect myself is to stay alone?!

I don’t want to grow old alone, I want to love and be loved again, but I want to just skip to the proper relationship part!