Stop shaming yourself and surrounding yourself with those who do not love you
For those new to this community, for those who have been here a while, for those struggling with this new reality.
I am going to offer you the best advice that has allowed me to be free and helped me land an amazing partner who loves me for who I am, even with Genital Herpes. I am successfully in a discordant relationship.
Let go, and forgive. Stop holding onto that resentment. Stop blaming yourself. Live your life. Be you, be free, be joyful! It is possible. This is not a death sentence. It is a skin condition that was transmitted sexually. It is what it is. You’re not dying, everything will be okay.
If you’re struggling with disclosure, and you’re scared, don’t be. Knowing I have herpes changed my life. It allowed me to accept reality for what it is, it taught me patience, and it is teaching me about intention.
Before disclosing, I showed people who I am, and I embrace myself, and I love me for me. I’m funny, I’m goofy, I’m me! Be you! Unapologetically. Let people see you for who you are. Who you attract deserves to see you, and they deserve building something with you and growing into something beautiful. You can’t rush that.
Timing is everything. Build the chemistry, build the trust, build the psychological safety. Once that’s there, find the proper time to share what you live with before you get intimate. I promise you, you sharing this is not the end of the world, and you will be surprised by their reaction.
When I disclosed, my partner held me and told me “It’s okay. You think I’m letting this end what it is we’re building. I want to be with you. We can figure this out together.” I love this woman so much.
I used to be so damn scared of this new reality. I was traumatized about not knowing I had herpes and how I unknowingly transmitted to my last partner. That experience was so damn traumatic and I felt like a monster. But I forgave myself, I let go of the resentment. I told myself that I am worthy of being loved because I love me, and someone will too.
You are more than a diagnosis, and be intentional with whom you invest time into. I promise you, the right person will love and accept you, not reject you. Stop focusing on lust, and starting working towards establishing love. It will all work out.