MIL gatekeeping shower gift
I wasn’t able to attend my SIL’s baby shower since I lived 600 miles away and had a newborn. I’d crocheted a baby blanket for SIL’s baby, so I gift wrapped it and mailed it to my MIL’s house so she could take it with her to the shower. I called her before the shower to verify that the package had reached her in time, and reiterated the plan. My thought was that, even though I wasn’t at the shower, a thoughtful gift would signal that I was thinking of SIL on her big day. I’ve been to many showers where gifts from absent family members are opened, especially when they are hand made.
On the day of the shower, MIL left the gift at home.
I asked her why she didn’t take it to the shower. “You weren’t there. She can come to my house to open it.”
WTF?
I feel hurt.
Update:
SIL and MIL saw each other yesterday, and the gift was exchanged. SIL thinks there are two possible motivations:
- MIL forgot and is trying to save face.
- MIL was worried about doing something “wrong”. (She is socially awkward, but also status-conscious and rigid, so she might have been worried that this sort of thing isn’t done.)
I still think there’s a chance she didn’t want to hear anyone admire the blanket.