I think dark romance permanently changed the way I connect with people
I was with a girl before and what we had was dark romance to the extreme. It’s been more than 2 years since we separated, but honestly I still feel like that side of me never left.
Since then I barely talked to other girls. Recently there’s this woman at my workplace who started getting closer to me. She’s literally double my age, and for a moment I actually considered it. But then I stopped myself because deep down I know I probably won’t find that same intense side I got attached to before.
It’s weird because part of me wants something healthy and calm now, but another part still craves that toxic intensity and emotional chaos.
Sometimes I genuinely can’t tell if I actually want a calm/simple kind of love with normal feelings… or if I’m still addicted to that darker side of love I experienced before.