[QCrit] THE BELL RINGER, Adult mystery thriller, 89k words (1st attempt)
Hello all!
I have sent out a query previously (before I had any idea what the rules of querying were. RIP to that version. It is buried in my backyard) and have finally done a rewrite. I still think this needs work, but I'm starting to spiral about it so I thought it might help to get outside opinions. Any feedback would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Dear (agent),
I am currently seeking representation for my psychological mystery thriller, THE BELL RINGER. (Personalized intro sentence here)
Caleb Anderson is no stranger to caring for his seven-year-old brother, Ben. Growing up in the shadow of his father’s crippled mental health, Caleb learned to adapt early. He’s changed diapers, read bedtime stories, packed lunches, and inadvertently made Ben the foundation of his daily life. But now Ben is gone. Vanished into thin air during a blizzard. Caleb is wracked with guilt, determined to find him at any cost, even if it means risking his own life.
Meanwhile Caleb’s father, Noah, is practically numb. After years spent in seclusion—sustaining himself on a cocktail of pills and poor advice from his alcoholic brother—Noah’s shortcomings are thrust into the public eye as the town rallies in search of his son. His reclusive life is suddenly garnering more than just unwanted attention, but also forces him to reflect on the choices that brought him here.
When a bag of bones and rusty bell are discovered in the woods, both father and son assume the worst. But these bones don’t belong to Ben. In the midst of their pursuit, a decade-old cold case is brought back into the light, one which leaves Caleb questioning the connections between Ben’s disappearance and the case’s only suspect. With the weather worsening, hope of finding Ben alive begins to dwindle, pushing them all to their breaking points. Desperately seeking answers, Caleb must face a potentially dangerous man, and Noah must reconcile that the only way forward is to confront the resentments that have torn their family apart. Tensions rise, calling everyone’s past into doubt and ultimately begging the question, who needs saving more?
Told through multiple point-of-views, THE BELL RINGER is an 89,000-word mystery thriller that takes its readers deep into the psychological threshold between grief and desperation. A stark exploration of loss, familial bonds, and the shrapnel effect of intergenerational trauma, THE BELL RINGER blends mystery with powerful character dynamics. It combines the whodunit format of Local Woman Missing by Mary Kubica with the emotional character complexity of All the Colors of the Dark by Chris Whitaker.
(My crappy bio here. Hoping to get some short stories so I can beef it up a bit)