[M31] First Gay Relationship
I [M31] have identified as being bisexual for over 15 years. However, back in November of 2025, I entered my first gay relationship. I didn't know what to expect. I have loved us being in a relationship together and I really do love him and I know he loves me too. The problem is that theirs a large age gap between the two of us. My boyfriend [M20] has a lot of different views of the way things are and is a lot more carefree then me.
Before people judge the age gap, please understand the background. I met my boyfriend while doing theater two years ago. We became fast friends despite our age difference. Due to work, I had to move away. My boyfriend was the only person who would brave a two hour drive, after midnight, to come spend a day or two with me. We would sleep in the same bed and just cuddle. A number of months later we decided to make it official. I moved 45 minutes back towards my boyfriend's house, and he moved 45 minutes towards my house and now we live together!
Back to the main point of the post. My boyfriend, being young, has a lot of habits that can annoy me. A big one is his carefree attitude. He worries me. For example, he got a ticket for speeding. I advised him to go to court and speak to the DA. In order to do that, he had to fill out the ticket and mail it back by a specific date. I kept reminding him to fill it out, but he would get mad whenever I brought it up. Finally, a few days before it was due, he realized he had to get it done and panicked. I helped him mail it in and everything was fine.
Another habit of his that drives me insane, is that he will pass out in the recliner, instead of heading to bed when he knows he is getting tired. When I say pass out, I mean one second, hes having a full conversation with me, and the next his eyes are closed and hes not listening to me. I have tried to wake him up and tell him to go upstairs, but he doesn't. He usually has to wake up early for work, and when he passes out unexpectedly like that, he does not set an alarm. So I worry for him.
I know its not the greatest thing, but I know his phone pass code (he knows mine too, its one of the first things we shared), so I will go into his phone and set an alarm for 15-20 minutes, hoping he will come to bed. He almost never does. Sometimes I wake up at 4 or 5 AM and notice hes still not in the bed, so I will call him, because he always keeps his ringer on. I know this can sound controlling, but theirs two main reasons I do this:
I am worried he will oversleep or his phone will die, since his charger is next to our bed
I have a real hard time sleeping when hes not in the bed with me
Can anyone help me with suggestions or ideas of what to do. I know I need to stop calling him and just let him sleep on the recliner, but when I wake up and hes not there, I worry and get sad. Any information would be helpful, thank you