u/Own-Papaya-4264

I can’t live happily anymore, I’m constantly grieving over the loss of the days when I was a kid and everything felt good and there was cozy status quo. When I was 18, I graduated high school and my parents divorced and suddenly that status quo I’ve lived in for almost 20 years is gone. Flash forward to today, I’m 26, and it feels like I have literally nothing left to live for. Almost everyone important in my life has moved on to completely new lives and I’m still just here, not knowing where to go from here.

I was always an anxious little kid afraid of change, and it’s like my biggest fear came true, all my warm status quo comforts are gone and now I’m just floating alone in a void and everything I knew is gone. Everything is different and unfamiliar and scary and I just want to go back home, but home doesn’t even exist anymore. I’m alone, and I can’t see any path forward through this new unfamiliar reality all by myself. I literally feel like I’m at the end of my life right now. The first 18 years were good and the past like 8 years have just been consisting of me slowly degrading. It feels like I’m at a dead end, like I’m facing the end of my life right now

My heart hurts, why couldn’t everything just stayed the way it was? How am I supposed to keep powering through this when it feels like there nothing left to fight for anymore? How am I supposed to keep going into my meaningless job everyday with this pain in my heart all the time? I can’t do it anymore