u/Own_Audience_7168

I’ve had several cases where I’ll look for something and swear I looked in xyz place but can’t find it. Then someone finds it in xyz place and gets frustrated that I “didn’t look there.” It wasn’t there when I looked but it’s there when someone else does.

For example, I was looking for my kid’s stuffed animal in her room. I looked everywhere including the obvious, in her drawers. I told her I couldn’t find it. Then my dad came over, pulled out her drawers, and there it was. I swear I looked there and it wasn’t there when I looked!! Anyone else had similar experiences?

Hello, I am Asian and am 5 months along with a child who has a congenital defect. It was detected during the anatomy scan. The defect will mean that if the child survives pregnancy and childbirth, he will need an organ transplant, be on dialysis for the first couple years, and likely have neurological and developmental delays. It seems 50/50 would terminate but in my culture, the only option is to terminate.

I told my parents the news and they immediately told me to terminate. I have Asian friends who’ve had miscarriages or had to TFMR but I don’t know any who intentionally chose to keep a medically complex child through pregnancy and birth. I believe Asians want their kids to be successful and to have a defect from birth already sets the kid up for failure in life. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Did you choose to keep or terminate despite cultural expectations?

In my 20 week anatomy scan, I was devastated to learn that my baby has non functioning kidneys and anhydramnios (no amniotic fluid). I found a hospital willing to do serial ambioinfusions to replenish the amniotic fluid. However, the medical journey will be complex for life. The baby might have lung and other problems due to not having amniotic fluid for a few weeks. The baby will need daily dialysis and a kidney transplant. One parent will need to be a full time caregiver. My other kids will likely get less attention as our focus shifts to our medically fragile child. The long term mental and physical developmental impacts are unknown.

However, this is a much wanted pregnancy and I don’t know what to do!