u/Own_Combination3944

Hey everyone,

I’ve always struggled to label my stance on religion. I’m not religious, but I don’t feel like a strict atheist either. For a long time, I called myself agnostic, but even that feels too static. My outlook is much more of a fluid fluctuation—sometimes leaning one way,sometimes the other, often depending on the situation.

To help process this and find some comfort, I coined a word for it: Anceptheism (pronounced an-sep-thee-iz-um).

It combines the Latin word anceps (meaning "two-headed," "double-edged," or "wavering/undecided") with theism.

For me, it perfectly captures the feeling of having a belief system that moves between two heads, or waves back and forth rather than sitting perfectly still in a predefined box. Honestly, creating this has been a bit of a coping mechanism for me, and it's the first time a label has actually felt accurate to my experience.

I'm a bit nervous to share this, but I wanted to see what people think. Does anyone else experience this kind of fluctuation? How does the etymology land with you?

I find it hard to believe, but I also find it hard to not believe.

I'm always offended when someone outside of faith says something that makes me feel attacked, yet feels the same way when someone talks about their faith.

I've very much struggled this everyday, and even depression and questions on what i actually consider as truth.

I've tried becoming an atheist before but it just made my situation worse since I felt like I was attacking my identity, yet I can't bring myself to believe.

Both sides just makes me feel attacked, it feels like when one side is criticised, my identity is shaken, and I've always felt miserable.

I always feel like I'm alone, and that makes me feel a slight of hypocrisy.

I'm still 16 but I really need someone to talk to, or maybe just advices, it's very much appreciated :) ❤️