u/Own_Lobster4879

I had HG during my 1st trimester and at one point my obgyn's office suggested that I check into the hospital to access more immediate care. I thought that I would get treatment for HG (such as IV fluids) but instead had a traumatizing experience that's really shaken my confidence surrounding birth.

The whole story is longer and I don't want to share potentially identifying details, but in summary, there was major miscommunication where I started being treated as a psych patient instead of a gynecologic patient. For context, I am autistic and I think this significantly affected the care I received. I was confused by some of the questions they asked and nurses flagged me as a mental health risk, even though I was not suicidal. I repeatedly tried to communicate this but nobody would believe me and they seemed to get agitated whenever I disagreed that I was a suicide risk. I requested my medical records after being discharged and saw that they had noted things like avoiding eye contact and unusual tone of voice (which are autistic traits) as evidence that I was suspicious.

I was not allowed to leave the hospital, all my personal items were confiscated by security, and I was explicitly not allowed any privacy (I refused to shower as a result). I repeatedly tried to ask for an explanation of my legal rights or a patient advocate, but no one involved would answer my questions or get me in touch with anyone who could, simply insisting that everything that was happening was legal and appropriate and thus no one would help me. I eventually stopped asking about my rights because I sensed that they were perceiving it as further evidence of poor mental health. One nurse scolded my husband and told him it was irresponsible to have sex with me because being pregnant would push me over the edge. Abortion was brought up a few times and I felt a bit judged for refusing.

In particular, there was a psychiatrist who insisted that I was "a danger to the community" as soon as she entered the room, without having actually talked to me before that. I had told nurses that I was afraid because I had past medical trauma and she repeatedly brought this up as evidence that I was an extremely unstable person, implicitly suggesting that I must have warranted those past experiences. She declared that I would certainly have increasingly frequent and more intense mental breakdowns and only get worse over time, never better. She also cited the fact that I did not have an outpatient psychiatrist as evidence of my danger even though I didn't have one because I didn't have any need for psychiatric medication, and declared that very few people would be willing to take me on as a patient. My husband asked her to please speak to me more kindly because I was scared and she refused on the grounds that her judgment as a professional was accurate.

I was eventually allowed to be discharged after 2 days after CNAs, my regular talk therapist, and a 3rd party psychiatrist advocated that I have not exhibited any suicidal behavior. My therapist disclosed to me that when she was trying to talk the hospital psychiatrist down, they were considering having me involuntarily committed for weeks and had thought my husband was abusive because he was trying to advocate for more comfortable conditions and disagreeing with them involuntarily holding me.

I have reported the experience to my obgyn and thankfully the doctors there were horrified and affirmed that this was not what they had in mind when they referred me, and said that they would report the incident. They also said that they'd try to modify my health records to clarify things although I'm still feeling worried that this incident will somehow come back to affect my care, since having a history of mental health treatment (especially involuntarily) is stigmatizing.

Overall though, this has given me a ton of fear about what will happen when I give birth... I've always heard that a woman is allowed to refuse treatments she doesn't want, but in this case, nobody listened to my clear and repeated lack of consent because they had designated me as too unstable to make my own decisions. It was incredibly scary to not be allowed to leave, and I know that's only supposed to happen if you're in danger, but in this case I wasn't suicidal (or even capable of harming myself since I was so sick) and it still happened... I feel afraid to ask questions or disclose worries in the future because it was used against me during this situation. I also scared that I might be judged as an unfit parent because of my autism and that someone may try to separate me from the baby. I did not have depression at the time this happened (I was just suffering from HG) but now I also feel uneasy about reaching out if I do end up developing PPD.

Has anyone else been through this? Does anyone know what my rights would be during the birth and how I can try to avoid this type of situation? I will be hiring a doula to help but I'm still really scared. This is in the USA