Need help lv8 2k+ hrs REALLY stuggling
Video is the fights I took from a random game i decided to record.
The problem is I cannot for the life of me make any impact in my games. Most of my games i finish with under 60 adr. Some even under 30 💀. It's like I'm getting constantly destroyed. I feel like I haven't seen ANY improvement for maybe years.
My profile if anyone is willing to see anything: https://www.faceit.com/en/players/OxygenSama
Watching my demos I see a lot of tactical and mechanical mistakes I cannot explain. For example I often peek too wide but I feel like if I don't I won't be able to react the person and kill him. And a lot of the time it looks like I stop exactly at the enemy's crosshair. But even if that's not the case even if I peek and my crosshair is on his head and he's watching somewhere else I still get killed. I constantly get a bit "jumpscared" when I see an enemy even if I know their exact location and my preaim is on point. This causes me to panic spray and I can't even think about spraying properly. Sometimes my arm even twitches and I miss the first half of the mag basically. I can see that i should relax and I am but when I'm in a fight I don't think about . When spraying the wall I can control the spray well but I cannot put this to use onto moving players. Its become a reflex of me to spray and tapping or bursting is really hard. When trying to burst my bullets go everywhere and I click and release m1 too fast in order for the recoil to reset. Same with tapping.
One of the biggest things I feel like is pulling me back is I cannot see the game clearly. Like not my actual vision but just don't focus on enemy models and everything is just reflex to the moving blobs on the screen. I can't explain it at all but the games where I actually see, the game looks 3d and everything moves slower I play significantly better. I guess it's some kind of brain fog.
But my aim being really bad aside I feel like something else is fundamentally messed up in my games. I just seem to be unable to do any damage to enemy players. A lot of times I end up in a crossfire or fighting multiple enemies and even if they peek one by one I can't seem to multikill. Looking at other players in my matches I don't see better crosshair placement or good positioning it just looks like to me that they just go out somewhere and place their crosshair to the enemy faster and somehow without being expected. And me I try to constantly move I play different angles sometimes I play aggressive sometimes passive and even then I feel like I react way slower. A tip for aim I've constantly heard is see that you've aimed at the enemy and then shoot but that just feels impossible. Even like how I play now I still get shot at faster than I can. Even then making mistakes shouldn't be this punishable at this level right? I can see a lot of people in higher elo than me that don't communicate, have no movement, look like they cant hold their mouse and still top frag.
I don't care about wins or elo atp but having 30 adr and even if I win it still tilts me A LOT. My friends still want to play with me for some reason and just flame me because I talk about stuff like this and say to me to just play and don't think about it. Ok. I play. I don't think about my performance only the round. The game ends. 0.3 KD 26.5 ADR. What do I do? I go next if I'm not too tilted. Same thing ok go next day. Same. Ok take a few days break. OMG 88 ADR no way go next 0.25 KD 45 ADR. Repeat. And again. And again...
This is kind of a vent post as I don't expect someone to say something that's going to magically help me. I understand I'm not made for games as I struggle in others a lot too. But I would really appreciate any tips as I can't transfer ingame stuff from videos, workshop maps and mistakes I notice from watching my gameplay.