u/PHON3-BOi

.. between Houses, Businesses, Trailer Parks, and Apartment buildings because I would most definitely take Apartments off the list. Trailer Parks are a close second. The way they set up and number these apartment buildings is literally insane.

Sooo being homeless has put such strain on my social life. Like, I wanna hang out with my friends and family, but I keep pushing them away. Hanging out nowadays feels more like a chore than an opportunity to relax and being around loved ones. They don't know I'm homeless, hell most of them don't even know I lost my good paying job, where I traveled everywhere sometimes, but I had to tell some of them because some would pop up at my job just to say hey. I'm barely surviving, and my friends want me to go to all these places like festivals, concerts, or certain parties. Family members having get togethers or reunions and want to see me, yet I use my job as an excuse not to see them. It's not because I don't love my friends and family, it's just tough being around them when I know they are gonna ask about my life. It's so embarrassing to have people ask me if can they come over to either spend the night, hang out, or party because then I would have to tell them the truth and then they would start to panic and start calling people (my family) so they can fuckin' panic. So I get distant, and I push them away unintentionally. Even with the many friends that I have and as big of a family I have, this is the loneliest I've ever felt in my entire life. If you made it this far into reading this (and thank you for the entirety of your attention), do you ever feel this way? Ya know, feel like you're slipping away from yourself? I don't even recognize the person I'm becoming sometimes 😔

Sooo being homeless has put such strain on my social life. Like, I wanna hang out with my friends and family, but I keep pushing them away. Hanging out nowadays feels more like a chore than an opportunity to relax and being around loved ones. They don't know I'm homeless, hell most of them don't even know I lost my good paying job, where I traveled everywhere sometimes, but I had to tell some of them because some would pop up at my job just to say hey. I'm barely surviving, and my friends want me to go to all these places like festivals, concerts, or certain parties. Family members having get togethers or reunions and want to see me, yet I use my job as an excuse not to see them. It's not because I don't love my friends and family, it's just tough being around them when I know they are gonna ask about my life. It's so embarrassing to have people ask me if can they come over to either spend the night, hang out, or party because then I would have to tell them the truth and then they would start to panic and start calling people (my family) so they can fuckin' panic. So I get distant, and I push them away unintentionally. Even with the many friends that I have and as big of a family I have, this is the loneliest I've ever felt in my entire life. If you made it this far into reading this (and thank you for the entirety of your attention), do you ever feel this way? Ya know, feel like you're slipping away from yourself? I don't even recognize the person I'm becoming sometimes 😔

Restaurants (especially fast food) usually fucks it up for me and I'm so over it. Either it takes 15-20 minutes after the pick up time or the employees are bullshitting around or just taking their sweet ass time, even when it's slow for business. It's like the amount of time that I'm there waiting for the food, I could've gotten another big $$$ order or have done 2 to 3 deliveries and make the same amount of money or more. Dashing would be easier if people just do the job they are getting paid to do. Sorry, I had to rant on that one.

There were two cops so my anxiety got even worse. But i was parked in a hotel parking lot near the highway and one of the cops asked me why I was sleeping in the car, I told him that I was driving to see my mom and got sleepy and didn't want to drive tired on the road, so he ran my ID (I'm really sweatin' bullets now) but luckily everything came back clean and he also mentioned that it was okay that I stayed in my car and slept and that the hotel didn't call or mention anything and that they just heard my engine running with the windows covered up. (Needed AC cause it's hot AF). Still kinda sketchy but it's whatever. This was right after 3AM so now I can't get back to sleep and decided to drive somewhere else because that spot that I thought was safe is now "compromised" now as I like to say.

So if I live outta my car and DoorDash on the side, does that mean I technically work from home or travel for work? 😂