u/PRguy82

Lived here a few years but was partnered the whole time and basically never went out, so I'm weirdly clueless about my own city's scene. Recently single and trying to find my footing.

For anyone who spent time in DC, is there an Atlanta version of JR's? For those who don't know it, it's a Dupont Circle bar with a laid-back, after-work energy. Professional guys in their late 30s and 40s stopping in straight from the office, cocktails, somewhere you can actually hear yourself talk and meet a more professional crowd (lawyers, office types). Upscale but not pretentious, if that makes sense. Polished but still easy to just walk in and talk to people. That's always been my speed. I'll still dance if there's a chill area to step away, but what I'm really after is that upscale cocktail/lounge vibe where the 35-50 crowd actually connects.

Woofs is great for the sports-bar side of me, but it's a different vibe than what I'm after here.

Where does that crowd land in Atlanta?

Me: mid 40s. My partner: mid 50s. We've been together over 15 years. He's a good man. Loyal, loves me deeply, and we enjoy each other's company when we're traveling or doing things together.

But at home, I'm unhappy a lot. This unhappiness can go on for months at a time and has been a recurring theme throughout our relationship. Sometimes I prioritize protecting his feelings over my own happiness.

We've also never been sexually compatible. I have a high libido, and sometimes I question if he's asexual. The intimacy has always been infrequent and routine. Nothing exciting or new. I've tried to address it over the years, and we've been in couples therapy on and off, but nothing has really changed. Non-monogamy isn't an option for him.

The truth is, I haven't been sexually into him in a while. I think it's tied to a lack of connection and intimacy overall. We're good companions, but I don't feel passion or desire. More like roommates who love each other.

With the age gap, I also think about the future. He's settling into retirement and low energy. I'm still driven, active, building things. We're at different life stages, and I'm not sure that gap is going to shrink. While I've always been into and dated guys who were older, this is the first time in my life I can actually picture myself with someone closer to my age.

I do love him. But I'm not sure that's enough when some of my most basic needs go unfulfilled.

Am I crazy to be thinking about starting over on my own? Has anyone else been here, especially in an age gap situation?