Casual sex with someone has made me shut down
In the last couple of years, I ended a very long term relationship. I haven't felt much since then, for anyone except for a straight woman who I would see on occasions at my art studio. She started really leading me on with lots of flirtation etc, so naturally I developed feelings. The biggest issue was that she had a male partner and it would have never worked out. Anyway, I realized this after some time but I had all of this pent up sexual energy due to having this big crush and recently starting HRT.
I had met Teresa a year ago, and asked her out at the time but she was in a messy sort of breakup/relationship with her ex, and I realized I didn't want to pursue it, even though she was open and wanted to experience polyamory. So I was like...nope not for me. But when I had the crush on the art studio person, I wanted to meet up with Teresa to see if she would be into something casual (I had heard she officially broke up with her ex and was wanting to be sexually free).
So we went out, I told her what I was looking for and we ended up sleeping together a few times. It was awesome because I felt alive again and that I still "had it". It really helped me get rid of the feelings I was feeling for the straight woman. But during this time, she has taken a long time to text back, is a little flaky and it has definitely showed me some things that I want in my next non-casual relationship, which is good!
I wanted a little reassurance that she was into continuing our arrangement, but I just got back from a friends weekend together and there was no romantic energy at all. Was I hoping for a make out session? No. I was definitely not expecting anything really to happen. But what I was hoping for was when I left and leaned in for a hug, that she would say "lets be in touch this week" or some sort of slight flirtation, and there was nothing. I don't think I am really made for casual relationships, and my sex drive has mostly shut down. I am starting to feel like its a sign that this vibe is not for me.
Have any of you experienced this? I'd like not to be lectured on how to be in a casual relationship, and to "get over it" because that is the nature of it. I completely understand that. But there are levels of casualness and I am wanting a bit more communication with Teresa.
I would like to hear if this makes sense to others and if its good to listen to the low sex drive as a sign to protect myself and to stop this casual affair, to move on to find something better.