Now I know why Singaporeans don't wanna give birth
Every year, we hear about Singapore's declining birth rate. The government rolls out baby bonuses, childcare subsidies, tax reliefs, and encourages companies to adopt flexible work arrangements. Yet, despite all these efforts, fewer couples are choosing to have children.
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As a new parent and a retail worker, I now understand why.
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Before becoming a parent, I thought the biggest challenge would be the financial cost of raising a child. While that is certainly true, what surprised me more was the lack of time. Money can be earned again, but time with your child can never be recovered.
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I work as an optician in a retail environment. My working hours are typically from 10:45am to 8:45pm or 12:00pm to 10:00pm. I only get two days off each week, and only two weekends off every month.
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My husband, like many Singaporeans, works a standard office job from Monday to Friday with weekends off. This means our schedules rarely align.
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When I work the afternoon shift and finish at 10:00pm, I only reach home close to 11:00pm. By then, my husband is already preparing to sleep, and my child has long gone to bed. Some days, I do not even get to spend a meaningful moment with my own child before the day ends.
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Ironically, I spend more waking hours with customers than with my own family.
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I tried to seek a compromise. I submitted a request to my company asking whether I could be scheduled for more morning shifts. The request was simple: if I could finish work at 8:45pm instead of 10:00pm, I would at least have some precious time with my husband and be able to see my child before bedtime.
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Unfortunately, the request was rejected due to manpower constraints. This is where many working parents feel trapped.
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The government promotes flexible work arrangements and encourages employers to support employees with caregiving responsibilities. However, in practice, companies can simply cite operational needs or manpower shortages and reject such requests.
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On paper, flexibility exists. In reality, many employees never get to experience it.
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Returning from maternity leave was another challenge. During my absence, many company procedures had changed. Yet when I came back, I received little to no proper training or updates and was expected to know everything immediately. The first time I encountered unfamiliar processes, I was reprimanded for not knowing how to perform them.
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Instead of feeling supported during a major life transition, I felt like I was being punished for becoming a mother.
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Not long after returning, another policy change required staff to work full shifts from 11:00am to 10:00pm every working day. This further reduced the already limited time I had with my family.
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The emotional toll is difficult to describe.
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You spend your workday thinking about your child, rush home hoping to catch a glimpse of them, only to find that they are already asleep. Then you wake up early the next morning while they are still sleeping or preparing for childcare, before heading back to work and repeating the cycle.
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Eventually, you begin to wonder what kind of parent you are able to be.
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Whenever discussions arise about Singapore's low fertility rate, the conversation often revolves around housing prices, education costs, or financial incentives. Those factors certainly matter.
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But perhaps policymakers and employers should also ask another question: Do working parents actually have enough time to be parents?
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Many Singaporeans do not avoid having children because they dislike kids. They avoid having children because they fear losing the opportunity to watch them grow up.
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No amount of baby bonuses can replace being there for your child's first words, first steps, or bedtime stories.
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Supporting families should not stop at financial assistance. It should include meaningful workplace flexibility, better reintegration after maternity or paternity leave, and genuine understanding from employers that employees are parents too.
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If Singapore truly wants to encourage more births, perhaps the solution is not only about making children more affordable. It is about making parenthood more possible.
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In all of this, I am still very appreciative of my Mum, mother in law and my husband for being such wonderful family members in helping to care for my child and also to keep me going when i'm in a mess.