u/ParkingSun1101

Currently preparing for the October 2026 ple. Feeling highly anxious about not being able to catch up with my backlogs. On top of that, one of my family members was recently diagnosed with stage iv cancer and is fighting for her life.

Things are just so messed up, but everyone is expecting me to pass the licensure exam so I can go back home already and help with the family.

In the middle of it all, I realized I basically have no steady friendship built in medical school or internship whom I can open up to about these things, someone who can truly understand how difficult my situation is. Everyone else has their go-to group of friends, but I feel like I have no one I can count on in times like these. Not sure if it’s a factor that I rarely go outside (like to study hubs or coffee shops) to study with them because I don’t have the budget to spend on those places, so sometimes I feel excluded.

I do have a boyfriend, but he is not in the medical field, and we are currently away from each other. I talk to him about these things, but I am afraid I might bombard him with all my issues, even though I know he tries his best to understand and listen to me.

I don’t know. I just want to let all these feelings and emotions out. I know all of this will pass and that this is just a season.

I am planning to take the PLE in October 2026. For context, it was still the pandemic era during my 1st year and half of my 2nd year, so my foundation in basic subjects is only fair. I am enrolled at EMD, and since the review started last July while I was still in my last month of internship, I have accumulated four backlog subjects. Currently, I cannot seem to find the proper time to insert reviewing my backlog subjects. I am still mastering Microbiology, which we finished reviewing last week, and now I want to focus on mastering Physiology. However, I am so, so worried about where to insert preventive medicine, legal medicine, biochemistry, and pathology. Do you think I should just skip the October exam?

Whenever I look back at how things unfolded between me and my now-boyfriend, I’m convinced the universe has a brilliant sense of humor. Because looking back, I honestly don’t know whether to feel completely amazed, incredibly lucky, or just slightly embarrassed.

It all started on Bumble back in Dec 2023. At that time, I was a drowning 3rd yr medical student, struggling with everything. Medicine was consuming me, and I desperately just wanted someone to talk to who didn't know what a differential diagnosis was.

Enter him. We were the complete opposite. He was this English-speaking, blue-blooded Atenean, and I was a proud Bisdak, born and raised in public schools, and a full iskolar ng bayan. But somehow, we clicked 🫶 We became constant chatmates, talking for hours on end about how our days went, our aspirations, and our future plans. He became my safe space and a truly great friend.

Naturally, after 5 mos of this, my hopeless romantic heart fell for him.

At that point, I was just waiting for him to ask me out for coffee, dinner, or literally anything. But because I was way too shy to just ask him out myself, I ghosted him haha.

In May 2024, I just stopped replying. I didn’t block him on social media, I just went completely silent. Eventually, he stopped chatting too.

For months, there was absolutely zero communication. But while I managed to keep my thumbs off his profile, I couldn’t keep him out of my prayers. I kept bargaining with God, asking that if this guy wasn't the right one for me, He would just completely scrub him from my brain.

He clearly had other plans.

Fast forward to Sept 2024. My brothers and I desperately needed to move out of our apartment because it was getting way too cramped. We were looking for a new place when my cousin swooped in with a recommendation. The compound he was staying in had a vacant room. The location was so convenient that my brother didn't even hesitate and paid the downpayment immediately. But when he finally described the area and sent pictures of the location, a sense of familiarity hit me.

As it turns out, the universe didn't remove him from my mind. It just moved me into his house. He was the son of the landlord.

So, I tried to run away from a plotline I was too scared to face, only for destiny to hand him the keys to my new place.

For months, whenever I would come home from the hospital, I would turn into a ninja and wear my face mask up to my eyes and race for my life straight to the door. I was absolutely terrified and embarrassed of him catching me renting a room in his family's compound. For months, my missions worked.

Until my conscience got the best of me.

The guilt was eating away at me because his parents had been the best to us! so I finally swallowed my pride and sent him a message. I didn’t expect a reply, and I certainly wasn’t fishing for a second chance. I just wanted to ask for forgiveness for my sudden disappearance and layout my perspective. I confessed that I had developed real feelings for him, but figured that we weren't on the same level, and I ghosted out of fear of getting hurt. I just wanted to say sorry and thank him for being my saving grace during med school.

He replied. Not only was he completely shocked to find out I was living in his family's compound, but he also told me that he was not living in the compound anymore. He had relocated three cities away to manage their family business. For months, I was sprinting across the courtyard, hiding from no one.

The holiday season rolled around. He asked what my plans were, but as a senior clerkie, aka the lowest of the low in the hospital, I told him I’d just be rotting in my room since I was scheduled for duty on both Christmas Day and New Year's Day. Hearing that, he invited me to spend New Year’s Eve with his family.

And just like that, after more than a year of drama and hide-and-seek, we finally met in person for the very first time ✨

Since that night, it hasn't all been smooth sailing. We’ve had to face the very real struggles of being physically apart and navigating a long-distance relationship.

But I guess if our story was going to borrow every single major rom-com cliche, it had to include this, distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

And now, here we are. This coming July 25, we’ll be celebrating our very first anniversary as a couple 🤍

Sa sige namo og chat, na englishera og ahat. Aw bisdak lang gihapon uy 😆