u/Particular-Review-65

1.	Does keeping a pet dog break the quality of seclusion? I already have one when I wasn‘t come aross Buddhism. So I cannot just abandon him. Leave him to my parent and my wife they will mistreat the dog by not getting  him enough exercise.  I view him as my son, although I already have a child. I know this is an emotional attachment and should be abandoned, but I wouldn't be a lay person if it would be so easy.   
2.	Recursive thoughts about death of myself and others. Especially the death of my dog,  and my relatives, and fear of them rebirth to bad realms. It make me depressed, anxious, but it also motivates me to train harder, like keeping more precepts, more contemplation, more Dhamma study and more sense restraint. Should I stop worring about it, or start contemplating death harder.  
3.	Savior complex? Do we have no choice to “save“ our relatives or pets from suffering? Do they doom to suffer if they have wrong view? How to stop my compulsive empathy to help them if there leaves no option to help. Or should I abandon the view that wrong people can be saved. 

From my usual pespective, POIS is often associated with ejaculation or orgasm. So I often have non-ejaculative sex with my wife. But after sex I usually experience extream tiredness, brain fog, seems like my IQ drops 20 points. And sometimes irritability.

It is confusing and controversial because wet dreams are not a problem according to modern science, but in other cases, such as ancient Hinduism and Taoism, wet dream still have a big influence in terms of loss of sexual energy. In Buddhism, wet dream generally doesn't count as breaking the third precept.

So my questions are, what does HH think about wet dream?
Is it not a big deal even it impacts health?
Or is it a problem even if it doesn't impact health too much?

edit: Yeah. Downvote if you want. I just want you to know I am not against wet dream. Everybody has it and it is unhealthy to not have it. My point is this: You should make sexual dream less sexual, or at least, not more sexual. This should make some sense. When wet dream happen, just don't take it for granted. Learn from it.

Coffee makes me restless, anxious, negligent and prone to entertainment and distraction. And caffeine crash makes me irritable and angry. When I drink coffee then meditate, It will have some benefit for reducing the third hindrance: sloth and torpor. But it also induces restlessness. I only drink one cup of coffee in the morning and still got the obstacle to meditate. For those who are sensitive to caffeine like me, I recommend to drink less. It brings more calm to you.

I might be wrong. But sometimes when anger gets too strong, it feels almost impossible to just let go. First I might repress it, to keep my precept, then I might channel the anger into more productive activities, albeit worldly ones, like exercising, reading books, or even contemplating anger.
Am I doing it wrong? Please give me advice to deal with anger? Maybe more sense restraint? Stay in seclusin? Manage my environment? Patiently endure? I am a puthujanna, I still don't know how to endure without resisting/repressing it at all.

Because it is the time when both caffeine crash and alcohol withdrawal hits. For me, I drink coffee in the morning and beer at night. When the time is at 5:00 PM, I become groggy and grouchy, little things besets me and make me angry. Sometimes even rage without reason. I am a overall wholesome person, but I will never rage about my parent keeps bitching around. But after I am both relapsed coffee and alcohol, in the afternoon I feel the crazy animal get off its leash. It might sound cringy but I swear it's true and it's not what I want.

I was sober from both coffee and beer last month. The last three day I took a cup of coffee, and my depression was gone, at least for a while. Then I realized I might have underlying depression, which makes caffeine withdrawal two time harder. While being euphoric(yes, coffee does that for me, euphoria for an hour) and anxious, it encouraged me to take beer, and it seems the stress and high from coffee makes me crave beer for often and more intensively. Not only beer, but also craving for porn, mindless scrolling, and other entertainment.

It is no joke that coffee makes shitty life more interesting, and I have been self medicating for my depression with coffee for almost 10 years! If you want to quit coffee, I urge advice you to leave your toxic environment first, and take meditation to deal with life and stress.