u/Particular_Chemist69

Hi!!
I was just curious to see how you guys balance life with BJJ as hobbyists. I’ve been training for 1 yr & 1/2 and I just cannot seem to be consistent lately. I’m in pre-nursing courses, I lift 3-4x a week, and I work 32/40 hour weeks. Plus I still have friend & a partner & family. Im always doing something & some weeks I can’t make bjj at all. I feel like I’m losing my skill & overall desire for it bc I just can’t keep consistent. I do NOT want to quit but how do you guys balance it with your lives? Have you had to take time off?
Just curious :)

I wanna start by saying I wrote on here previously about weird behavior from my instructor. Unfortunately I still have not confronted that situation lol but that’s beside the point atm.

I can’t tell if my desire to switch gyms is a skill issue or actually warranted.

1- I don’t feel like I’m learning. Like yes, I see progression since my very first day. But I suck bro. BAD. Lost my first comp BADLY……couldn’t even think. Got stuck in guard twice and submitted under 3 minutes. I’ve been training a year n a half & I just feel like my coaches teaching style doesn’t work for me. At night, my coach is amazing!!! But I’m in school, work full time & have family/friends and other hobbies. Some weeks I can attend 4 classes, some weeks 1 class. It could be that I’m not attending as frequently as possible & it could be a skill issue but IDK.

2- The environment.
They are lovely people who really try and curate a “family” vibe at the gym. But I can’t help but see through them. Like my previous post, they partake in locker room talks in the morning class. My instructor doesn’t teach in the mornings. Sometimes he just has a roll for the hour. Sometimes he asks what we need etc… which sometimes is nice but other times it’s just annoying. He will cancel class bc he doesn’t “feel “ like coming in. I pay 140 a month for this gym!!!

3- feeling bad
I have some great friends at the night class. Some girls that I really do enjoy. I’m afraid to leave this gym for another. The grass isn’t always greener.

4- fear
My coach seems to have a story ab every other gym in our area. All pertaining to sexual harassment/ weird behavior towards women. So again. Idk.

All of this has made me want to just quit lol. Between being absolute dog water at bjj & inconstant instruction & my uncomfortable interactions with my morning instructor…..I’m feeling discouraged.

Any advice on what to do would help!!!
Or anyone who’s switched gyms even tho they were scared lol. Could just be white belt blues & skill issues but idk…something feels off!!!!

(Previous post below)

https://www.reddit.com/r/BJJWomen/s/ggDq34KbFm