u/Particular_Cow671

I permanently ended things with my exMM after many many attempts. I can't assign an exact timeline of how long we have been in NC because I wavered a bit and reconnected briefly as friends but then went right back to NC (so hard to guide myself to do this!)

I was with my exMM for a little over 2 years. During that time I have had a close guy friend to whom I NEVER revealed that I was seeing a MM. I felt so ashamed, so I did what most of us do . . . deflected, lied, deceived my friend so that he didn't learn the truth. It always felt so horrible

About a month went by without me spending time with my friend due to travel schedules. Last weekend we made plans and one place we spent time was an outdoor patio listening to live music

My friend said to me "This compliment is going to sound strange, but you seem and look younger."

Can you believe that the stress, the constant highs and lows, the dopamine crashes caused me to look older?? I can believe it . . . but to hear someone close to me acknowledge that I look better, lighter, happier and younger!? What a payoff!!

I did a Tarot Card reading for myself asking for guidance on a piece of information that would be most helpful to me at this time

I pulled a card that suggested to actively guide my thoughts toward logic and away from emotion right now. This is a very helpful insight. As we navigate the crippling pain during the withdrawal phase of getting out of an affair, we often are overwhelmed with negative emotions- sadness, missing them, feeling less than, anger, feeling worthless

It's helpful to direct my thoughts toward managing my awareness and getting through a full day at work and reminding myself that I am choosing to get emotionally HEALTHY again. This pain is temporary and I am getting free like I have wanted to for so long