After my previous post, I am curious to know what a high maintenance woman looks like to men? Is it her vibe? Is it the way she carries herself? What she wears? I’ve been told that I’m high maintenance but I don’t understand how.
Remarriage after Divorce
I genuinely want honest advice because I feel really defeated when it comes to marriage and I don’t know if I’m the problem or if I’ve just had bad experiences.
I am a mid twenties divorced woman with no kids Andover been divorced for almost 4 years now. I’m well educated, tall, practice my deen, volunteer, have hobbies/interests, travel often, have close friends/family, and I’d say I’m attractive (as does everyone else who tell me that constantly) and I take care of myself well.
What’s really affecting me is that I feel invisible to men in real life and overlooked on apps. I’ve travelled a lot, attended Muslim networking events, conferences, Somali events, volunteering spaces etc and I rarely ever get approached. I make sure to be seen and introduce myself. Even when I make the first move myself, it usually ends in rejection or disappointment and it honestly leaves me embarrassed. I make the first move on Muzz, I’m open to all cultures and even then I’m not taken seriously. I believe my divorce and being a divorcee is what is hindering me all together. But the funny thing is people in person wouldn’t know that unless I tell them.
Meanwhile I’ll be with friends who get approached constantly while I’m standing right there. It’s gotten to the point where I’m questioning myself deeply and wondering if there’s something wrong with me that I’m just not seeing.
I’m more quiet/reserved naturally, but I’m still social, friendly and approachable when I’m around people. I don’t think I’m rude or cold. But I feel like men never take me seriously and I’m always the one who ends up hurt or overlooked.
I also tend to prefer older men because I value maturity, stability, ambition, provider mindset etc. But sometimes I wonder if older men look at me and assume I’m too young or not serious.
I’m honestly tired emotionally. I know people will say “focus on yourself” but I already do. I’ve spent years building myself and trying to put myself out there properly and being proactive about marriage.