u/Party_Pollution_9959

Hi all. I'm writing on behalf of my partner regarding my stepson. We are at a loss...

My stepson lived with us between ages 16-18. After that his mum called child maintenance to report my partner didn't pay for 2 years, creating 2 yrs worth of payments in arrears. Stepson said he would be willing to lie with mum because she promised him £1000 of the arrears (she'd take 3.5k).

It took nearly a year but CMS accepted our evidence and wiped the arrears. Stepson won't accept this and wants the £1000. He said if he doesn't pay him, he wants nothing to do with him. He's sent horrible messages and voice notes wishing ill on us.

He's coming 19 next month, and we're also thinking about Christmas. Last year well over a grand was spent on his birthday (latest Xbox game, tracksuits, branded aftershave, new gaming chair, a party and gave him £500). We had mentioned buying a holiday for his 19th for him and a friend, which he's been reminding us of lately.

I don't want him rewarded for this behaviour but I feel absolutely awful ignoring his birthday? I made such an effort to have him feel that he belonged and was family, and that he'd always be his dads priority. I'm so disappointed and well, baffled, where do we go from here??

Any words of wisdom would be very much appreciated. Any advice I can bring back to partner regarding his birthday, do we get him anything? Anyone ever face a similar situation?

Thanks in advance.

Hi all, I’m looking for some advice.

I work in further education/apprenticeships and my area has had a lot of redundancies over the last couple of years. I’ve worked there for 3 years and was told by my manager and HR that redundancy was likely in the future, with reduced hours possible beforehand. My caseload is now only worth about 2 days a week, so they temporarily moved me into an additional role outside my job scope to keep me full-time until the end of April (think receptionist).

Since then, my mum passed away from cancer in November, and I’ve also been dealing with serious personal issues including police reports for harassment/threats and ongoing fraud against me causing major financial strain. My mental health has suffered badly- anxiety, inability to concentrate, missed deadlines, etc. I told HR and my manager about this.

My workplace offers free therapy, but the provider said they couldn’t help with my situation. HR apologised but offered no alternative support, so I’ve had to pay privately for therapy which I now can’t afford.

I also mentioned I was *considering* returning to full-time education in September, but I may not even be able to afford that now.

The temporary role has ended and I’ve now been invited to a meeting “to review my performance” in that role and decide whether it will be extended. HR will attend and the letter says I can bring a union rep. The letter also specifically mentions that they know I’m considering returning to education but that I haven’t resigned yet. It was sent at end of day Friday and the meeting is Tuesday morning. I don't have time to find a rep.

This has made me worried they’re trying to avoid redundancy by pushing performance issues instead. My performance problems are linked to my mental health/stress, and I have a psychiatrist appointment and medical tests (ECG) booked next week related to anxiety symptoms.

My questions are:

* Can an employer repeatedly discuss redundancy, then switch to performance concerns instead?

* Can they dismiss someone for poor performance when mental health is a factor?

* Do they have any duty to provide support or make adjustments after being informed of these issues?

Any advice appreciated.