u/Pastaimpasta123

Hi everyone, I’m 26M and I’ve been seeing a 35M that I met on Hinge. I work a corporate job and he owns a cloud kitchen, so we come from pretty different professional backgrounds. At first I thought that would matter more than it actually does. We also come from somewhat similar family backgrounds and difficult upbringings, so we understand each other’s insecurities in a way that’s been really comforting. (To not jinx it 🧿)

We’ve only met a few times, but it’s been going really well. I’ve stayed over at his place, met his mom, and every time we’re together it just feels… easy. This doesn’t feel like one of those dates where you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. It genuinely feels like it could become something meaningful, and I know that sounds a little crazy this early.

The problem is that my brain won’t stop jumping into the future. I’ve always pictured myself ending up with someone from a similar career background, and I’ve also always been open to the idea of moving to another country at some point. Because of his family situation, especially his mom, I don’t think he’d ever want to leave, and for some reason that thought makes me really anxious. I’ve even told him that if I ever did move, I’d want us to figure it out somehow because I’m not someone who gives up on people easily.

What’s confusing is that nothing is actually wrong. There are no red flags, no mixed signals, no toxic behavior (got lucky here too - touchwood 🤞🏻). If anything, things are going better than I expected.

So why am I already worrying about hypothetical situations that may never even happen? Is this just what happens when you finally meet someone you genuinely like? Has anyone else caught themselves trying to solve problems that don’t even exist yet instead of just letting the relationship grow naturally?

I’m a 25M and I matched with a 26M on Hinge some time ago. In the beginning things were good. He was very expressive over text and we had a few nice calls. I only used to voice call or video call.

Now disclaimer: He has been very cheesy on texts but when it comes to effort, I don’t see it or maybe not to a certain degree.

After some time I started noticing a drop in effort. If I don’t text or call first, he usually doesn’t either. There are texts where he just replies in a way that there is a dead end to it. Ifykwim

One day neither of us called and later he asked why I didn’t call him. I asked him I might have forgotten but he could have called instead and done the same thing. He agreed. Next day he calls but it was only once because the previous day I told him “you could have called as well”. But nothing really changed after that.

Now it feels like I am the one starting conversations. His replies are short and the conversations die quickly. There are also long gaps unless I reach out first.

For example, last night he texted late asking if I was awake. I had already slept. I replied in the morning and now it’s late afternoon and he still hasn’t replied.

Am I overthinking this or is this just low interest?

Would you keep trying or just move on?