My partner has PMDD, I need help
Me (25M) and my partner (27F) have been together for 6 years, 4 of which we have lived together. She got diagnosed with PMDD around 18 months ago, and I’m trying my best to understand her condition, educate myself on what she goes through and experiences on a month to month basis. It’s truly awful what so many women have to deal with and I don’t wish it upon anyone.
Lately I’ve been really struggling to deal with my partner when she’s going through her luteal phase. She becomes moody, volatile, irritable and unpleasant to be around. She’ll have at least 1 outburst towards me around day 18-20 of her cycle every month, and although the outburst may at times only be small, when you compound it over multiple months and years, it becomes mentally exhausting. I feel like I have to walk on egg shells when I’m around her during the luteal phase and what would be taken as a light hearted joke or a regular sentence any other day of the month, all of a sudden becomes a big deal that she flips her shit at
Then later when I try to bring up how it affects me, but her argument is always that she’s allowed to have outbursts, or they’re fine because they’re only small, or that I just need to get over it and I can’t let her actions make me spiral every month, or that I can’t blame her for my past traumas (which I don’t, but my past traumas definitely don’t help the case). It always feels like my feelings are being neglected and that I need to man up and get over it
I love my partner a lot, we own a wonderful home, and we’ve created a nice life together. But the 25% of the time when she’s going through her luteal phase makes me question if it’s all really worth it. Like can I put myself through this every month for the foreseeable future? Can I deal with the neglect, walking on egg shells, the outbursts every single month?
I’d love to understand how others deal with their partners when they’re at their lowest, or what they do to manage everything because I’m really struggling. I’m exhausted, and I feel like I’m at my wits end. And I don’t really want to hear “just break up”, that’s not really going to be of much help. Thanks 😊