ASSassins throughout history have always used their big plumb booties to kill people. From Abraham Lincoln to Leon Trotisky. I always wonder why this was the case. Aren't there better weapons out there?
Full disclosure, I'm not Catholic yet, in truth I don't know what i can call myself as someone whose been embracing the theology and the practices of the Church yet hasn't gone through OCIA yet, (am I a Catahumen? An outsider? Idk). I come from the Baptist/non-denominational tradition.
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I just attended Mass tonight after a long hiatus, as I'm often working on Sundays and didn't really attend Mass but often go my non-denominational church on Sunday mornings. I've been spending the last few months praying to saints, praying the rosary, reading Catholic doctrine, fasting from food and other pleasures, as well as reading scripture and i thought, "today's the day were i go to Mass!" I've prayed that i would go and that God would grant His grace and i wasn't going to make any excuse.
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When I got there, I felt really heavy. As if someone was sitting on my chest. I sat down and felt my soul at war. I felt a voice telling me to leave, telling me that I didn't belong there, meanwhile another very soothing and firm voice would tell me that I belong here many than most. That God specifically called me here today to be among His people. Everything went as it did any other time I went to Mass, only that the heaviness remained. Then came the Eucharist! I felt all of my fears and doubts fall away as my spirit started praising and leaping for me to enjoy the presence of God. (I wholeheartedly believe that the Eucharist is Jesus' body and blood). It took a great deal of control to keep from cheering or verbally praising and shouting. I felt a voice telling me to eat it, but I knew better. I crossed my arms and mentally said "one day, I'm gonna eat the flesh of Christ and drink His blood." The sermon was about us being laborers for Christ.
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When I got out of Church, I shooked the priests hand and felt even heavier. The heaviness completely left me when I got to the car, but I've never felt that way about any church service. Not even the another Masses that I've attend, expect for the one that convinced me to eventually become Catholic. I don't know why I felt that way. Was it because of my sins? Or because of the rosary? What do you think it was?
I've recently started praying the rosary daily as a means of receiving God's grace into my life and I have to say that I'm indebted to the intercession of Mother Mary. I was raised Evangelical Baptist and I never thought to much of the Catholic Church until my friend (who was Methodist), told me he was thinking of converting to Catholicism. (He came home this Easter Vigil, I'm still working my way to the Church). I tried for a good while to find some good arguments to convince him not to become Catholic, I started reading the Church Fathers to find evidence for Protestant doctrines but also to see if the Catholic Church really did change the teachings of Christ. I thought "well, the Papacy and praying to Saints isn't biblical, so when did this start?"
Ironically, it would a Protestant source that become the catalyst for me accepting Catholicism. Now I've been studying Evangelical theology as a layman for many years up to the point, but reading St. Ambrose for the first time, and learning of Classical Protestantism made me redact nearly all of my faith in Evangelicalism. I sought to find a church that wasn't exactly Catholic, but close to it, in order to better follow Christ. I got a book about Anglo-Catholicism and attended an Anglican church, but I've found out that they actually rejected Sola Scriptura, Sola Fide, and held more sacraments than any other Protestant sect!
And then I read about the early Church fathers prayed to the saints! Now I've been reading St. Athanaius, St. Ambrose, and St. John of Damascus at this point, and I also flirting with Eastern Orthodoxy. I didn't know how beautiful and biblically fitting this doctrine was! It made perfect sense that God, who as Jesus says is not a God of the dead but the living, allows all the Saints in Heaven to pray for us. The book showed quotes from the Early Church Fathers supporting the practice and for the first time, I prayed to Mary. Now, two years later, I pray to Mary, St. Raphael, St. Micheal, and many other Saints often, really everyday at this point. I wish more Protestants accepted this doctrine, as it is a beautiful practice and I can truly say that the prayers of the Saints are heard by God. Without it, I've never would've accepted Catholicism.
Hello Fathers! I've been praying, contemplating, and reading more and more about how one can hear and feel the Holy Spirit. While I'm not Catholic yet, a local priest that I'm in communication with tells me that the Holy Spirit "bends over backwards" to commune with us. I've started a mission a few months ago to hear the Holy Spirit in my life to help guide me to truth, and I've come away with some conclusions. But in order to gain good counsel, I turn to yall.
One thing I've learned from a video made by Scholastic Answers, a Thomist YouTuber I like to watch, is that one should practice mental prayer regularly. My priest also gave this advice. Seek a quiet place away from everyone and everything that might tempt you and genuinely open your soul to the Holy Spirit. I like to throw myself into my closet at room, put on some noise canceling headphones, and pray, "Come Holy Spirit, where there is doubt and despair, fill me with hope and faith. Where there is sin and anger, fill me with love and forgiveness." And wait in silence until I hear Him.
I know from Scripture and some Catholic OCIA materials that the Holy Spirit speaks with a gentle voice that is very distant from our inner voice. He always brings a sense of peace, clarity, and truth to the one He speaks to, and He is always direct and short with His words. Phillip, in the book of Acts with the Eunuch is a good example. One must come humbly to the Holy Spirit and always confer with Scripture, Catholic teachings, and mature Christians to help discern whether or not the Holy Spirit spoke. Satan, by contrast, always brings doubt, loathfuling, confusion, and sinfulness to the mind.
So, what I'm asking is, is this a good guide for discerning the Spirit? Or am I'm missing something very important? Thanks for your guidance