How did becoming a parent change your polyamorous dating life?
(Other than the blanket, "my kid(s) changed everything forever!" because, obviously!)
Specifically hoping to hear from people who were polyamorous before they became parents and then incorporated new partners afterwards, but welcoming of all perspectives.
Background on our budding family: Nesting partner and I (queer, mid-thirties, both poly before we met) are planning marriage and kids in 2027 and quite geeked about it. I'd be overjoyed to eventually welcome co-primaries and/or co-parents (or other committed family partner roles) someday, but no contenders for either of us at present - NP was recently broken up with over clashing parenting hopes and plans with his ex, so the intersection of dating and parenting has been fresh on my mind as I walk through that heartbreak with him.
Based on what I know, I imagine as the gestational partner that as I ramp up, experience, and recover from birthing trauma, and focus on bonding with my child while my body heals from being turned inside out, I won't be motivated for any new connections outside of a protocol-heavy D/S relationship where my sub does all the laundry and dishes. (Haha jk!....unless.... )
But what happens in the space after that, when you step back into building a relationship with someone new? How did you update your dating app profile post-becoming a parent? What did those first few dates or first new partner post-baby feel like? Did you feel like parenting/birthing made you appear less (or more) appealing to prospective partners? Did your type change? Did your own interest in dating change? I am so curious to hear. My poly friends and exes are mostly childfree, and my parent friends are all monogamous, so I don't have images for what this could look like. Thanks in advance!
PS, though I am definitely looking at this from a gestational parent lens in a birthing couple, I am curious about the experiences of diverse parents - non-gestational, step-, adoptive, foster and "uncles/aunts" etc too! How did becoming a parent/caregiver change your dating life?
Edited to remove assigned sex at birth as gender descriptors.