Its Not About the Lemon
My husband and I are married for 13 years. Childhood friends, classmates na eventually naging mag-asawa nung college. He was always soft spoken, malambing, maalaga and all. He was always the yearner one.
He had an “almost” affair with a coworker nung 2019. It was never serious daw pero he admitted cursh nya yung girl. To cut the story short, naayos namin and I forgave him for the sake of our child na rin.
That was the time I knew he changed. No more affairs this time pero nagtataas na sya ng boses, pinapatulan ako sa mga rants and tantrums ko, nang-aasar during serious conversations and all.
I know mahal nya kami ng mga bata (we now have 2 kids) but I really believe deep in my heart na hindi na sya yung version na nakilala at minahal ko.
Somedays were hard. Kahit anong usap gawin ko, magiging ok sya for a few days tapos babalik sa dati. Kung napanood nyo yung movie na The Breakup ni Jennifer Aniston, that is our current situation (hence, the title of this post).
I never asked him to be perfect. I just wanted him to show up, to actually care again about me and my feelings, to see and hear me. Arguments always lead to silence at lilipas na parang walang nangyari. No sorry, no solutions, just excuses.
I realized, mas mahirap pala kalaban ang emotional absence kaysa actual na 3rd party.