u/PersonaGuy5

Hello. I (22M) have been having a lot of homicidal thoughts about my father (51M) whenever he berates me. Before I continue, I would like to say that I am seeing a therapist, and I have been seeing said therapist for the past 3 years. With that out of the way, let me explain why I have been having homicidal thoughts about my father. I have ASD (I was diagnosed when I was about 3 years old). My mother also passed away in September of 2015. Since then, I feel as though I have become my father's punching bag. Whenever I "mess up," he berates me harshly. He never apologises for getting upset, never tries to work things out, and never even checks in on me to see if I am alright after our fights. Even after saying to my therapist that she had given him a lot to think about, he has done virtually nothing to rectify the situation. This is where the homicidal thoughts come in. Ever since he married my completely evil stepmother in 2018, things have gotten worse. I have had numerous thoughts over the years of killing my father so that I could be free of the pain he has caused me. There are several factors stopping me, such as a loss of medical aid as I am a dependent on our current plan, losing out on potential inheritance, and the biggest factor, me ruining my future and ending up behind bars. I feel as though nothing is getting better between us. My aunt has suggested that I speak to him about the issues I have, as "relationships can't be passive." The problem is, I feel that he will refuse to listen to me. With all that out of the way, what should I do about these homicidal thoughts that are plaguing me? Would it be wise to alert my therapist about these thoughts?