Can there be a permanent resolution to shame?
About seven months ago, I went through a severe mental health episode driven by emotional turmoil and substance use. Looking back, it was likely a hypomanic state.
I changed completely. In many ways I turned sociopathic. I hurt people I cared about, acted like an asshole, and did some incredibly embarrassing things toward people I genuinely admired or cared for.
I’ve processed a lot of the guilt and shame since then. Some of it has improved significantly. But there are still a few memories that, when they come up, trigger an immediate physical reaction. Sometimes I twitch, blurt something out, or laugh involuntarily. It’s like my nervous system still can’t fully digest what happened.
I’ve been practicing letting go and sitting with the feelings without resisting them. It has helped. But this particular shame still feels deeply charged.
What makes it especially difficult is that it happened in front of people I looked up to. Also posted a lot of embarrassing thins on my social media.
I’m curious about the Hawkins perspective on this.
Can shame actually be fully resolved? Can it be processed to the point where there is no emotional residue left, or will certain memories always carry some degree of embarrassment?
Interestingly, I can imagine coming to terms with the guilt. Shame feels harder. It’s difficult to imagine a place where I fully accept myself for what happened and feel completely at peace with it.
Has anyone here experienced a genuine resolution of deep shame through Letting Go?