Want to quit but scared of the health problems.
I've been a daily user for over 10 years now. Went to treatment but I had not support when I got out. I've never been in trouble with the law over my usage. I don't steal from ppl, I don't shoot it, I pay all my bills on time and I've only had 2 major sicknesses I believe was caused by using.
I hate lying to everyone about being sober, hiding in the dark to smoke a bowl, spending money I work hard for. I'm tired of not going anywhere unless I have to. I'm just over this lifestyle, period.
I'm finally ready to walk away and leave the drugs and behind me, but I don't know how. I want to talk to my doctor about it, but I don't know what to say and I don't want to be judged and put on the list. I've tried to quit on my own several times, but around the 3rd day I get sick and I know all my insides are unthawing from the ice.
I pray everyday and hand my troubled heart to my maker. I want to be a better person but I don't want to be one of those hypocritical ppl that recover and turn their nose in the air like I'm better than anyone else and that's all I see when it comes to recovery.
My biggest concern is that I have no support and I'm so afraid of my health deteriorating when I quit. How do I talk to my doctor about treatment plans and start moving forward?? And what if recovery is worse than sobriety??
Sorry for the rambling on, but I really want to hear thoughts on my next step. I guess you can say I'm scared of being sober and I'm tired of using. Please give me your honest opinion without judgement and negativity. Thank you for listening