I Quit Stimulants and I feel alive again.
I thought I will share this as someone might benefit , I have been taking dexamphetamine aka dexedrine which is similar to Adderall for 3 years to treat my ADD. I had known I had ADD for a while but what got me to get treated was me failing classes in engineering school, I was a straight A student in high school but I didnt find my course interesting and its all optional physical attendance. The meds definitely did help alot initially with focus etc but I did feel alot of side effects I didnt like, it felt like time was passing so quick and months would pass without me really feeling them like I used to, It also made me feel totally unmotivated when the medication was not in my system, over the years I realised that my drives and motivations were only really triggering me to move forward in life whilst I had the medication in my system, when I would take 5 day breaks or so I would realise that I dont actually have proper aim or motivation in my life that actually aligns with me on a real level, almost like the meds were driving me solely. Considering that I definitely had times in my life were I was driven before the meds when I reflected on them I realised that I used to feel far clearer headed and happier during those times. So I stopped taking the meds to see if my natural drive would return or be recovered again, the first 2 weeks I was very close to a zombie just sleeping all the time, now its been 2 months and I feel the best I have felt in a long time, yes I do struggle more with focus and concentration but my work feels far more intentional and is far sharper, I realise now that for me at least the meds were "intoxicating" in a sense and to quit them and return to your "natural state" or a functioning state without them takes far longer than people usually advice.