Do I stay for the program?
I moved out of state for college because I was really sold on their program for my major(which is truly amazing), the transition has been so much harder than I expected. I went from living five minutes away from everyone I love to suddenly being completely on my own. I live off campus due to a medical reason, I thought having a roommate would give me someone to connect with, but we have totally opposite schedules. Some days we only see each other for an hour, and other days not at all. Even though I’ve joined clubs and tried spending more time on campus, I still haven’t made many friends.
On top of that, my car broke down and the shop hasn’t been communicating well, so I haven’t been able to go anywhere or get to work really. I have been getting a ride to campus from a friend but we barely know each other and I don’t what them to think I’m just using them for a ride. I haven’t worked in a week, which means I probably won’t make rent or tuition. I already struggle to afford everything even when I’m working as many hours as possible.
I’ve been so homesick. I haven’t been able to stop crying since my second week here. It hit me that I’m really alone. I know I have an anxious attachment to my parents, but I don’t know how to cope with it from so far away. I haven’t been eating or sleeping well, and I feel like I’m failing at everything.
To top it all off, I currently have Covid and a concussion. My mom keeps telling me I need to make a decision about whether to stay or come home, but I don’t even know what “home” is anymore, my parents live in different states now, so I don’t really have one place to go back to. If I move home, I feel like I’m robbing myself of an amazing program and disappointing my family. But staying here feels impossible when I’m this lonely, overwhelmed, and helpless. I just want to feel supported again.
TL;DR homesickness is making me physically sick, do I stay in my out-of-state college or move home?