Almost 31, virgin, never had a relationship. Feeling completely hopeless and sad today.
Hey guys, huge vent post here but I just have so much bottled up these days over all of this. I’ve quit therapy due to the cost, although it helped somewhat (in other areas of my life besides this).
Like the title says, I’m almost 31, a man, and have yet to even come close to losing my V card or forming any type of romantic relationship. I’ve been on the dating apps off/on for years. It’s always been the same fucking results - I make my account with newer photos, get a handful of likes, match with maybe a few of them, conversation dies before I’m even able to ask them out. Or I just get unmatched, ghosted, etc. And then my account just sits for the remainder, collecting dust. Most of my likes I get are from women quite literally the complete opposite of myself (lifestyle, bio). I know apps are horrible for men but god damn they have wrecked my self esteem.
Only been on three first dates and none of them went anywhere. Ever since I was around 27/28, it seems like my sex drive has shot through the roof. I am so tired of hearing men’s garbage ass “advice” when it comes to dating, and these “trust me bro” podcasters, essentially telling men to “forget women and focus on money bro, hit the gym bro, grow a beard bro. Women aren’t worth it these days, juice isn’t worth the squeeze hurr hurr. I got my dog and motorcycle and I’m so much happier.” Ugh. Fuck. So sick of folks essentially telling OTHER men to suppress it all.
I’ve never expected supermodels or any type of woman close to this, either. Just a normal woman that’s genuinely nice and preferably at least somewhat in shape. Tired of being told to “focus on yourself” when it always comes back every fucking time. I am so touch starved that I sleep with a fucking stuffed animal.
I’ve been putting myself out there more lately. Haven’t met anyone but I guess it provides a reasonable distraction so I’m not doomscrolling on the apps.
I know it sounds corny, but I wish I could find a woman that desires me, makes me feel sexy and wants to basically fuck my brains out on a routine basis. Of course, I want it to be mutual, but I just wish I could feel desired for once. Is that a pathetic way of thinking? Probably. But I know “focusing on money” hasn’t gotten me shit. I do just fine financially.
Actually matched with a woman on a dating app that made me feel this way for once - she was evidently in an “open” marriage but I’m pretty sure was actively cheating, as she unmatched me later in the day. I also think she was just bored, lonely and horny one day working from home..
My PMO consumption has gone through the roof lately. But I’m trying to work on lessening it because I’m only making this worse. I took a sleeping pill last night and tbh it probably made my mood way worse than usual.