u/PinyOru254

I think I’ve been reading too much about the Cornell 7 case. It has triggered horrible memories of the ex who hurt me. It started on the second day of campus and kept happening for months until I left. I was so sheltered and naive I didn’t even know what was happening to me every night was wrong. I was in a fog for years. I didn’t realise it until I saw a therapist for severe depression years later.

I’ve had him blocked for years. He tried to call me randomly a few months ago. I was up all night and cried about it to my best friend.

I have no proof. He’s moving in powerful circles. I’m scared of what could happen if I speak.

I want to curse him. I’m not even a religious or spiritual person. Perhaps this is an expression of my feelings of hopelessness. If anyone has the ability to summon spirits, please curse him for me.

Imagine birthing 8 kids with him and he still marries two more women for a total of 17 kids. Yes, he’s a doctor and a popular politician so he has the money but how much attention was each child and each wife really getting? At the end of your life you’re remembered for the things you did for him, for the food you made for guests and sacrificing yourself for his advancement.

No wonder millennial and Gen Z men are so bitter. They see a man of the older generation enjoying endless attention from multiple wives and validation of their virility from begetting several children. As a woman you wonder about the strife, heartbreak and endless labour behind making that family arrangement work.

Some women are much stronger than me. I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I’m just appalled. I hope she was happy. I hope her kids will be ok.

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TW: Street Harassment, cyber bullying

Back in uni someone yelled at me “wee peleka k**a kwa bwana yako!” Randomly for no apparent reason. I had never interacted with this man. It was in the middle of a busy bus station, at the height of the cases of attacking and stripping women in the streets back in the 2010s. For my own safety I left quickly without responding. That’s one of the scariest moments in my life.

I want to write about the m-word and slut shaming in general and how it’s used to silence women from speaking up, being themselves and taking part in public life. I’d like to ask if anyone has experienced to share their stories. I always redact usernames in my articles.

I’ve been called the m-word online while defending abortion rights. I want to talk about the resurgence of slut shaking in Kenyan online space and offline as well.

Edit to clarify: ma**ya is the word.

Edit2: should Kenyan women reclaim it the way Black people reclaimed the n-word?

I’ve heard growing up that in Luo, the back part of the chicken is reserved for men. I think kids get intestines to play with or roast as a snack. The thighs and wings are also assigned. If there are any Luo ladies please correct me.

What’s the reason for this? Do other communities have this?

I’ve definitely seen my mum serve my dad the back of the chicken. The rest of us it was first come first served. They didn’t distinguish between boys and girls. Sijawahi katazwa anything kwa sababu ni ya boys. Did anyone have a different experience growing up?

I’m doing my research on this and will probably write an article on this topic. I’m curious of any anecdotes you might have.

“Online harassment is not merely a collection of mean comments. It is a system of punishment attached to public participation. It is designed to make women pay a higher price for speaking than men do.”

Not my article but I thought it was relevant especially with the recent debates on the rise of femicide. The online brigade that automatically flies in to shut down any discussion in mixed company. This is why this sub is so helpful. It’s not merely a forum. It’s a place to share, organise and commiserate.

Why do you think it didn’t perform well?

For me I think it was the subject matter that wasn’t appealing. It’s ‘confessions of a former pickme’. It was about my experience as a woman in the red pill women forum in the 2010s.

Thanks u/navnt5

I wrote about my views on bride price. Not really a fan of the practice. I think is and has always been commercial. It looks like a transaction and it is, if we call a spade a spade.

Not knocking on anyone who did it. You do you. It's just something I wish wasn't a thing in the first place. In the article I go through the main arguments for it and why I think some of them don't hold water.

I've love to hear your thoughts on bride price. Do you support it or not? Would you want your fiance to pay bride price. Please let me know what you think of the article as well. Cheers.