u/PlaceLegitimate345

Basically, here's what happened.

I met this guy on a dating app in October 2025. I had posted pictures from both 2024 and 2025 on my profile. In 2024, I was chubby, but not fat-fat, and my skin was comparatively lighter. But since 2025, my face has become 3–4 shades darker than the rest of my body, and I've gained weight.

Apparently, he only checked one of my pictures before texting me. We moved to Telegram and talked for around 10 days, after which he asked me for my pictures. But by then, he'd already told me that he was into dusky and thick women, so I was like, okay....

Then I explained my whole situation to him. I told him I've been dealing with bipolar disorder, depression, and PCOS, which have affected my appearance. I also told him that I'm currently working on myself.

So we started talking, and everything seemed normal. But in November, after seeing my pictures, he kind of started ignoring me. I thought maybe he was busy, so I didn't think too much about it.

But somehow, from December 2025 to October 2026, we ended up getting really close.

Now, here's how this whole thing turned into a situationship.

In January or February, I confessed to him that I liked him, and he said he felt the same way. But then he told me that his parents wouldn't allow him to marry outside his caste, so he couldn't date me long-term or promise me marriage.

By then, I was already completely attached to him. A smart person would've walked away from this so-called situationship, but I was too attached to leave. So I stayed, and we continued talking. I even shared intimate pictures with him.

Recently, we were talking about our past, and I mentioned how he barely used to give me any attention in October and November. That's when he said that, on the dating app, I looked fair and thin in my pictures, but in reality, I was dark and fat. He literally admitted that this was why he had been avoiding me.

And honestly, I don't even know how to explain what I felt at that moment. I was disgusted with myself and felt so insecure. I didn't confront him or tell him how much his words hurt me because, at that moment, I was too busy feeling ashamed of how I looked.

Ever since then, I can't stop thinking about it. Was he never physically attracted to me in the first place? Did he just pretend to like my appearance for an entire year while telling me he was into dark and chubby women?

I mean, he could've just been honest with me. He has every right to have his own preferences, and I would've understood that. But pretending to find someone attractive, getting emotionally close to them, letting them fall in love with you, and then casually admitting that you've been avoiding them because they're not fair or thin enough for you is just so pathetic.

I'm genuinely heartbroken. I've been crying constantly, and I feel so insecure about myself now.

The worst part is that I know I love him. And that's what makes this hurt so much more. Because how do you process something like this when it comes from someone you love? Someone you've spent almost a year getting attached to, someone you've trusted with your feelings and your body?

I know my appearance has changed. I know I've gained weight, and I know my skin has become darker. I'm already aware of all of that, and I'm working on myself. But I never expected someone I love to make me feel so ashamed of something I'm already struggling with.

I'm not hurt because he has preferences. I'm hurt because he could've been honest with me from the beginning instead of letting me get this attached to him.

And now I can't stop questioning whether he was ever genuinely attracted to me or whether I was just someone he liked emotionally but couldn't accept physically.

I hate that one conversation has made me feel this bad about myself. And I hate that even after everything he said, I still love him.

Edit : used chatgpt to sum up my feelings.... Because when I'm high on emotions, I'm low in grammar..... Also, I'm not against people having preferences, and I'm not saying, he did anything wrong for not liking me.... But still I feel, he should have been honest with me... Even after knowing about my insecurity he went on to hurt my feelings ........

Basically, I was in a situationship with this guy. Later, he told me that his friend, who is 23–24 years old, is fucking a 16–17-year-old. Honestly, I was disgusted, so I told him that his friend is a rapist and a pedophile.

His argument was that since the girl already has a body count of 4 (I'm not defending her for that either—it's extremely not good for someone her age), it's alright if he's fucking her because she isn't some innocent girl. Then I told him, "If your friend is so good, then he shouldn't be engaging with a minor." After that, he asked me to get lost. Thankfully, good riddance.

Anyway, I mentioned this in a comment yesterday under a post asking, "What's your 'that's it, I'm leaving' moment?" Then a guy DM'd me on Reddit asking why it was wrong. He kept stating the same stuff—that she has a body count of 4, so it's not wrong to fuck a 16–17-year-old. Then he said that if it's alright for a 19-year-old to date a 24-year-old, why can't a 16–17-year-old? I don't even know what else he said. I also explained to him that, morally, I think it's wrong for a 24–25-year-old to pursue a 19-year-old too.

Then he went on about how it's easier for women to get sex and more difficult for men, so they don't want to miss any opportunity to have sex, even if it's with a minor.

I'm done explaining. I honestly wish I could share screenshots of my chats with the guy on Reddit who DM'd me.

​

Assalamu Alaikum

The problem of casteism among Muslims is not talked about enough, especially in regions like Bihar and UP. Yesterday, I saw a guy making a post about this issue, and while some people acknowledged it, others denied that it even exists and called him an IT cell agent and other names.

Honestly, I'd like to say that I'm a Muslim girl from Bihar, and yes, caste does exist among Muslims. Caste-based endogamy is still practiced heavily. Personally, I had never faced an extreme form of casteism, but recently something happened that completely broke me.

I met a guy in college. We liked each other and were together for a year. We decided that we would tell our families about our relationship and, after graduation, get married because we didn't want to remain in a haram relationship for long.

A month ago, he finally told his family. He is a Khan/Pathan, and all hell broke loose. His father completely flipped out and said that he would never allow his son to marry a girl from a "lower caste" and that their family lineage would be ruined. My boyfriend tried to explain things to his parents, but his father told him that he either had to leave me or be thrown out of the family. His mother even threatened suicide, among other things.

In the end, he left me.

That really broke me. I cried for days, wondering what was wrong with me and what sin I had committed to deserve such humiliation. My father was even willing to talk to his father, but during the conversation, his parents humiliated us and questioned my character.

His mother's exact words were: "Women from the 'caste name' community are like this only. They lure boys from respectable families into marriage so they can climb the social ladder."

Eventually, it all ended.

So, to all those people who say casteism among Muslims doesn't exist, sadly, that is not the truth.

Edit: used chatgpt for a better grammar, as I was emotional while writing this..

I request kindness and respect in the comment section. Thanks

Before anyone questions the relationship, no we never engage in anything physical,at max holding hands. We wanted to marry as soon as possible but since we were in college it was difficult. And yes I asked him beforehand about the caste issue and he reassured me his family isn't caste obsessed as inter caste marriages happened before but all of them were upper caste only..