u/Plantsandsmut

I've been in deep deep burnout for about a year now - I've been going through separation/divorce from my abusive/controlling husband since 2023, he's been dragging it out and making it as difficult as possible the whole way.

He's keeping the house even though he's got a huge income and I do not, I'm only at the start of my career building and I've been fucked over as I couldn't apply to the companies I wanted as he wouldn't let me move away so my career prospects has been fucked over by him.

I've had 2 cancer scares in the years since I left him, lost half my body weight in 3 months, I don't have a support system for a number of reasons, I'm not religious, the government can't offer support as I'm still technically married to someone with an income that surpasses the right to financial government supports even though I am not receiving any money from him at all.

I'm working for a tech consultancy company, and I am not doing well. They're very much a hustle culture type company, and they expect everyone to be pushing for client work, you have to have your client project, extra internal society contribution (think film clubs or running clubs or things like that and "owning" parts of those clubs but on your own time), networking (read; drinking A LOT) and a few other things.

I've not been in their good books due to my health struggles over the past 2 years and I've been passed for promotion 3 times now as I'm not trying hard enough (I'm not besties with one of the people making these choices)

I need a break, I'm falling apart most days, crying, disassociating, stressed, frozen etc. but I'm terrified to take a leave of absence or just quit because I feel absolutely hopeless and unskilled. I feel like even taking medical leave from work will put me back another 2 years in terms of promotions so I'll be on a graduate wage entering my 40s.

I'm so burnt out and broken and I'm tired.

Home chores aren't much of an issue in this outside of not being able to function to do then after work because work is just leaving me so burnt out

Full disclosure at the top! I am not rushing into this!! I'm looking for a discussion on how others have done it for themselves, or what others are doing to set themselves up for some semblance of security.

I ran my own illustration business for a few years, and got tired dealing with people commenting on the price of art, so I thought I'd get a degree and go into tech. I've been in tech 3 years now and it is not for me.

I'm trying to think of what I can do for myself if/when I quit/get laid off, what tools or structures to put in place to help me as best I can.

How to hold myself to account for producing again, cause we know we can just rely on inspiration 🤣

How to get "back on the horse" so to say, advertising, running an online shop front etc. it's been 8 years since I sold anything so there's so much more out here now, I feel quite out of touch.

How to get local work/support - I'm thinking of reaching out to local community centres, library etc to see what they have going on - but I feel this will need to happen after I'm not working 9-5 as I don't have an opportunity to drop in to talk to anyone during the week when they're quiet, or to even see what's on in those places.

I don't know what I could be over looking too, so does anyone have any experience with this? Does anyone have any advice? Anyone else trying to figure this out too? 😅

I'm looking for chats and discussions on this topic, not handouts or anything, like I'd love to have a proper conversation with a few people around this.

Thank you so much in advance!

What the title says.

I am so burnt out, completely and utterly, but I don't have a family to fall back on, I don't have a support system. I don't have savings,

I'm about to be sort of homeless after a divorce, I'm housed at the mercy and the kindness of a family that have taken me in. I'm not officially renting there's no lease, I'm in a relationship (18mo) with their son and they are happy to have me stay and I am happy here, but in the back of my head I'm just constantly thinking they can, and have the right, to change their mind at any point and then what do I do. ETA: rent rn where I live is ridiculous (is anywhere not?) if I wanted to have my own space, a (rough) studio apartment is going for €1800+ which is 75% of my current income before utilities. Sharing a space isn't much better €1000 being about the lowest you could get but again in not great buildings (old mouldy etc) and in rough areas, and before utilities.

I am struggling so much with regulating myself, I work in tech, I hate the corporate structure it's causing me a lot of difficulties. I have a number of chronic health issues - FND and IBDs.

Ive spoken to my GP, my consultant teams, EMDR therapy, general therapist, and they all say I need a support system, well my support system just kept telling me what I was going through was too overwhelming and they just stopped engaging with me and told me they'd be here when I was better (not friends imo)

I'm at my witts end, I don't know what to actually do to help myself.

I'm in Europe if that changes any sort of help.

I've been to women's aid charity's and they've told be they can't do much until I'm actually vulnerable ie homeless.

So it's feeling more and more like I have to fully breakdown before any help is given.

I just want to help myself, and I don't know how at this point.

The deregulation, inability to self soothe, it's getting to me so much.

I just spent the last 5 mins before this standing in the middle of my room saying 'i can't do this' over and over.

So I've been struggling and I'm wondering if others feel similar, and how you navigate it.

So I've struggled to find a career path over my years, and I'm not working in a big corporate company for the last 3 years, and I am **struggling**.

I don't understand how everyone is just playing along with the high stress performance, the constant worry, hustle culture charade.

The performative dance to get a promotion that's not actually to do with the job you were hired for, it's about the social game of if the higher ups like you enough, or more than the other people that are in the promotion pool that cycle.

And the amount of unnecessary posturing, and "value added" nonsense that's just extra steps in a system that doesn't need to be there. And oh god no you can't just speak to someone, you've got to submit a ticket to consider a meeting, and then have a teams meeting about the meeting...

I just... I feel like I'm going crazy, and any time I me tuon it to colleagues or friends, they all agree and say it's stupid but 'its just how it is'....

How is everyone not screaming?

So yeah, anyone else? Any suggestions on how you deal with it? Any suggestions for industries that are less insane to work with? I have a master's in engineering for what it's worth 🫠