How do I stop impulse buying?
It's very embarrassing to admit but... I think I might have a shopping addiction. I'm a woman in my late twenties. My job is very ordinary - I'm an office help that sorts documents, prints and copy them, etc. As you can guess, it's a rather low-paying job. But it's enough to scrape by. However, around a year ago, I've started taking loans. Just to impulse buy some trivial, unnecessary things. At first I thought it was a one-time thing, however... Since then, I've changed my phone five times. I bought clothes, bags, and cosmetics I don't even use. As a result, in a span of a year, I've accumulated around 40 thousands of debt in loans.
I think I know WHY I do it. I've always been unsatisfied with my body and myself. I'm extremely short and my dream was always to be tall. I couldn't even get my dream job (flight attendant) because of my height. Once I realized I won't grow anymore, I've started to look for ways to make me feel better. I've had an ED. I've never been a social person, but I've stopped interacting with people other than my parents and sister and colleagues entirely - just so they won't have a chance to perceive me as a short person. I've played games that allowed me to become someone else for a moment. But at some point all of it stopped working. And then I started impulse buying.
When I feel the urge to buy, I usually think something like this - "I can't be tall. My life is boring. But at least I can have the newest and most expensive smartphone! That bag! Those trousers! I have nothing else out of this life anyway." Then I buy it and... finally feel happy. Only for a moment though. Then I feel guilty. And I'm disappointed with how most clothes look on my short body. So, after trying them on, I usually don't even wear them again. Same with makeup products. It's all wasted on me.
I've been worrying about it a lot lately. What if I have some sudden expenses? Or even a dentist appointment... Or if something happens to me and my parents and sister are left with my debt. That would be horrible. So I'd really appreciate any advice from you.