u/PossibilityFit3060

I have had permanent BV for the last two months. Don’t remember what it’s like to feel normal. The only bacteria I ever test positive for is megasphaera. So technically my BV is indeterminate. Idk what that means or why it won’t go away. On about my 7th round of antibiotics. I have horrible intense burning that won’t stop. I take probiotics, I eat probiotics, I use boric acid, I use condoms, I don’t let him finish inside me, suppressive regimen, abstaining from sex. Nothing has helped me at all. I feel hopeless I feel like I want to die and I’ll never be normal. Or be able to have a family or children or travel. Has anyone dealt with only high megasphaera? Please someone help me. No odor or discharge. Just chronic intense horrible burning.

It started a year ago when I started seeing this guy, I got BV every time I had sex with him which was only 3. Also idk if this is important but my BV has no odor or discharge but agonizing painful burning that feels like someone has cut my vag out. And I have only ever tested positive for Megasphaera type 1. So technically my BV is indeterminate. I read about it online, people were like it could be the guy and I wasn’t planning on dating him so I stopped seeing him.
Then for the next year, I never had sex or saw anyone but after my period the BV symptoms would start again and I began putting boric acid in just after my period ended and the symptoms would go away. It only took just one.
In July I started seeing this guy and the painful cycle has started again, but adding UTIs. I really like this guy, he is my boyfriend, and he also has no idea I’ve been dealing with this. But since seeing him, I’ve had 4 UTIs and 3 BVs/ living with BV symptoms. I’ve been seeing a doctor, he gave me antibiotic after sex for UTI. That’s been working but the BV is still happening. I take oral probiotics, I eat probiotics that are supposed to be filled with good bacteria, I use boric acid, tried using condoms (still got it), tried not have him finish inside me (still got it), tried getting on birth control to try and balance some stuff (still got it)
And it is never any other bacteria besides Megasphaera. I’ve been on the suppressive regimen for a month now with twice a week metrogel, still getting it. I am so depressed. I’m in 1L at law school barely getting by. I’ve never had this many panic attacks or been so sad in my life. I feel hopeless and I’ve been thinking about dropping out of school until I get it under control. It’s agonizing. I haven’t known relief since July. I don’t remember what it was like to feel normal. I need help. Nothing is working. I’ve seen specialists, it’s all a big guessing game.
I’m truly at such a loss. I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend but like idk I feel gross all the time. I never initiate and he has noticed. Idk what to do please someone give me something

Got everything today. Attachments and trays and everything. I’m immediately regretting it, I’m hyperventilating sobbing I want them off i don’t want to do this. I only got them cause my mom said my smile wasn’t pretty and she pushed me to and she is paying for it which of course is very nice but I’m upset I let her get to me cause I’d never even thought twice about my smile at all until she started commenting. 1.5 years im supposed to have this on. I’m 22 and a girl. And I don’t want to do this help do I just get them off and call it a day

Edit: also I know this is dramatic as hell im just emotional and worried about no one dating me cause of this