I didn’t explain all the reasons why this is the case because I don’t imagine any of you actually care, but in the off chance that information would actually be helpful to anyone just say so and I will.
Nothing was non consensual, but that doesn’t make any of the sexual gratification from my sadistic actions any less disgusting. If anything it makes it more so. Just know I truly truly hate myself because of this, and have crushing remorse.
It’s as close to being actual pharmaceutical grade as possible without actually coming from a doctor. It’s the exact same stuff as the very top level bodybuilders use. This won’t be my first time doing it. I won’t discuss my results from when I did two cycles years ago because I don’t want to seem like I’m advocating for it because there’s no way to describe the effects it had on me without sounding like a series of glowing reviews. There are absolutely dangerous issues it can cause. I am aware of them, and am willing to take the risk. I asked several doctors who would be able to prescribe test to me to “please help”, and that “I preferred the help they could provide, but would be on this stuff regardless of their decision.” They all declined me, but when a perfectly abled actor needs to put on 30lb of muscle in 6 months to play Batman they have no shortage of doctors to give them this stuff, but me with my body withering away “I don’t need to take that risk.” That’s BS I’m trying to squeeze more years out of my life.
It’s as close to being actual pharmaceutical grade as possible without actually coming from a doctor. It’s the exact same stuff as the very top level bodybuilders use. This won’t be my first time doing it. I won’t discuss my results from when I did two cycles years ago because I don’t want to seem like I’m advocating for it because there’s no way to describe the effects it had on me without sounding like a series of glowing reviews. There are absolutely dangerous issues it can cause. I am aware of them, and am willing to take the risk. I asked several doctors who would be able to prescribe test to me to “please help”, and that I preferred the help they could provide, but would be on this stuff regardless of their decision. They all declined me, but when a perfectly abled actor needs to put on 30lb of muscle in 6 months they have no shortage of doctors to give them this stuff, but me with my body withering away “don’t need to take that risk.” That’s BS I’m trying to squeeze more years out of my life.