I sold my soul
About 12 years ago I realised God was real and Jesus. However the conviction of the holy spirit didn't change me. I continued in sin and writing secular music. I havn't really changed and don't think I can. I experience intense spiritual warfare from people and probably evil spirits. I think I sold my soul and even though I choose to believe in the ressurection I feel abandoned. I think I will go to hell at some point. I think I experience sorrow of the world which it says in the bible leads to death. I'm very on edge and paranoid that everyone talks about me in code. I am on meds for psychosis and depression. I don't know what to do. I feel living a really christ lead lifè is just beyond me. I find myself trying to convince myself it's schizophrenia to ease the fear or I'll tell myself I believe so I should be fine but it doesn't help. I turn to alcohol most days. I heard molech say something to me audibly today. I'm just wondering what I should be doing.
Thanks and God bless