u/Practical_Dream5820

Our DB didn’t start until we moved in together a few months before the wedding. Fast forward four years of us attempting to get pregnant with no luck, and it finally happens. Yay. Then I discover his severe 🌽addiction while 5 months pregnant. This is after years of alternating from DB to maybe twice a month.
Now the ED and lack of desire makes sense.
He promised to stop and get healthy, and try for us to have a normal sex life.
18 months later, things seemed better for the last 6months. I thought we were done with our DB.
Now I’m on week 6 of a DB. 6 weeks of not being desired. 6 weeks of “I’m tired”, “it’s cold”, “you’re too wet”, “I have to pee”.
I checked, yes, there’s still boundary crossing. Still dealing with his 🌽 addiction.
I don’t think it gets better. I don’t know that this can be solved long term.
I don’t want this in my life. I rather be alone than with someone I have to beg to desire me. I don’t want to have to beg for your attention, especially when I know I’d have your full attention if I was some random woman on your screen. Husband, I’m tired of waiting for a healthy “normal”.

It’s Father’s Day and I’m forced to pretend it’s fine. I found out about his deceit and PA when I was five months pregnant with his first baby last year.

It’s unfair that I have to pretend I’m not hurting as I see everyone congratulating him on his first Father’s Day. Then I see other women posting, bragging about their men, and all I can think is “girl, check his phone! I’m sure he’s not as great as you think”. Ugh. I feel horrible for these thoughts but even worse that I’ve been forced into this position. Anyone relate?

I (34f) need to hear from those with actual porn addictions. I’m at a loss for how to be a good wife and if this is even something I want to go through.

A little backstory, my spouse’s (39m) addiction came to light last year when I was 5m pregnant with his first kid. We struggled to conceive, he has a low sex drive. I thought that was just how he was, but then discovered it was a PA that keeps him from being able to perform IRL. Unfortunately his PA also led to other behaviors like messaging women (hundreds during our relationship) and paying for content from some. Meanwhile he has PIED and struggles to maintain erections with real life sex.

There have been a lot of trickle truths and discoveries since, and I originally committed to staying by his side as he worked through this addiction, putting my own needs and feelings of rejection aside.

He was supposed to be 8months clean, then I discovered he was searching thirst traps and doing other super sneaky things to get his fix this entire time. Everytime I look there’s something to find and it just opens up old wounds and makes it difficult to
Move forward. Every time he is caught he says he’s sorry and he’s going to make changes, and he doesn’t want to lose me, and he will do better next time. It’s a cycle, and I’m getting tired of it.

What I need to hear from other addicts is, is it possible for him to actually be clean? Can he fix himself so we can have a normal sex life? And does this entail me having to babysit him constantly and keep an eye on his devices and activities to make sure he’s not being sneaky again?! What signs should I look out for to know if he is actually trying to resolve this addiction and live a healthy life, or is he just telling me what I want to hear so I don’t leave?

I just need to know if there is a light at the end of tab tunnel, or am I just being gaslit into thinking he will be better one day but he never will.

Hi! My book club is based North of Austin and we’re looking for a LGBTQ owned business we can host our June meet at. Average 8-12 girlies. I’m having the hardest time finding one near us!

Any suggestions??

And I don’t just mean sexually. Not only has he broken his body so much he can’t perform normally and it forces me to care for myself, but emotionally too. In this relationship I’ve been taking care of all of my needs on my own because he can’t be there for me.

I take myself out, I make fun dates with friends and family, I show myself appreciation for all the hard work I do. I even bought myself flowers last month. It’s my birthday month, and where he would usually give me a small sweet surprise each week, I haven’t gotten anything and he hasn’t even made plans for me!

Meanwhile he still gets his maid. He still gets his cook. He still gets his errand runner. He still gets his nanny for his children. And I’m pretty sure he’s still getting his porn. I stopped looking since he is always finding a new way to get it and it was jsut making him sneakier.

At what point do I look at him and this addiction and decide I don’t need to be a part of it any more?