I’m a Nanny to family’s that have no complaints. Here’s how we maintain that balance.
I hope nanny’s are allowed to post in here! I’m only doing this because I am hoping to be helpful to people who are looking to hire a nanny or are hoping to improve their situation with their own nanny.
I’m going to cut to the chase and just make easy to read bullet points.
- You have to like your nanny and your nanny has to be a kind person. If she’s not kind and understanding and personable, she will make you feel out of sorts in your own home. If you don’t like her, you will grow resentment very quickly towards small issues. Compatible personalities are everything. You will have a working relationship with this person where you’re their boss in your own home. You have to feel comfortable talking to them.
- Understand your needs and your nanny’s needs. Every family is different. A nanny that has worked for family’s before you that adored them may not mesh well with your family. People always say on here, “My nanny came with strong recommendations but she’s not up to par”. The issue that I think some NF don’t realize is that every household functions SO differently. Different families have different needs and preferences. There’s things I do for my current NF that my past NF would’ve actively hated. I adjust based on what’s needed of me, but the adjustment isn’t as obvious as you might think it would be. You’re used to your own house and lifestyle, the nanny is not. They have to grow into the role and you HAVE to give them straightforward expectations and explanations.
- Hire based on what you see in front of you. My NF took a chance on me because my prior family and I had a “falling out” due to the Dad being abusive. I was worried sick when I was applying for jobs because my main reference was compromised. But they took a chance on me and now I’ve been in the same position for nearly 4 years and everything is very good for all of us. Do not hire solely because someone looks good on paper but shows up in a manner you don’t like. Do not not hire solely because they could have more experience or better references. Basically, have reasonable discernment.
- If something is bothering you, bring it up as soon as possible. Do not let it fester. Your nanny understands she’s an employee and will comply with your needs so long as you’re paying well and being decent in your approach.
- The truth is, the more generous you are, the more long term your nanny will be. BUT, you should only be generous IF your nanny is meeting your needs. NF’s on here always talk about all that they offer their nanny and wonder why she’s still not showing up on time or she’s calling out, etc. A good job package is not the end all be all. Some people will just take advantage of your generosity. The best thing you can do is be somewhat conservative early on (I.e, provide a livable wage, normal PTO, whatever is industry standard in your area but go just above that to find someone really decent) and then if you like your nanny, you become generous with them. So then it feels like a reward for the hard work and they feel appreciated. Raises, extra time off, advances, cars, whatever your tax bracket has to offer.. save it for the nanny that you love that will stay with you.
- Speaking of raises, write those into the contract. So long as the nanny is meeting expectations, a 5>% yearly income increase should be written in. Then, no one comes to you out of the blue for extra income and you all know what to look forward to and expect. Also, bonus’ written into the contract don’t hurt. That way, once again, no awkward encounters have to happen and it increases employee retention. Do you want to give a $500 Christmas bonus? Just make a line in the contract about it. Do you want to do a $1500 yearly retention bonus? Write it in. Everyone knows what to expect.
- Stop micromanaging your nanny. If you feel you need to, you’ve hired the wrong person. If you need a lot of data about your child day to day, write it into the contract. Say you want certain things tracked, create a shared photo album for the nanny to upload into daily, etc. And please god do not keep popping out of your WFH office the second you hear your baby cry. It’s making the situation worse. Have a conversation with your nanny where you express that they can come get you if they feel you’re TRULY needed. And leave it alone.
Okay ! That is all for now !
EDIT:
Everyone’s upset about the raise thing. My comments have defended my point on a financial level but consider this as well.
Unlike other jobs, nanny jobs don’t have room for growth. There is no higher up position to aspire to while working for a family. When YOU take a job, do you take stagnant jobs that don’t allow you to move up? And if so, is it because you want to build your resume and leave that company to hopefully make more elsewhere? I’m positive the answer is yes. No one wants stagnant wages for years. The raise incentive is to make your nanny have the ability to increase her income without job hopping and ultimately leaving you in the position to have to find another nanny on a random Tuesday. Additionally, raises happen whether you write them into the contract or not. Your nanny will approach you about a raise if you don’t offer it yourself within a year, two years absolutely max if you make it that far. So my suggestion was writing it into the contract which has worked very well for my NF’s and I. If you don’t like it, don’t do it!