Just fed up and frustrated
.I broke up with my ex wife in January. And since I have just been sexually frustrated with women and fed up.
I thought I was gay when I was in school. I was just never any good with girls although I was only attracted to girls. All my crushes were on girls, absolutely no boys.
Tried to convince myself I was gay in my 20s as I was SO incompetent with girls but the attraction to woman was so strong.
I developed urges starting at around 40 for the last 2 years.
Fast forward to today. I am just FED UP, absolutely fed up to the back teeth of being the nice guy that women need but no fucker wants. Ex wife needs me for my money but wants to shag Chad and Tyrone.
I've met this girl, who to be fair, said she had a partner when I met her.but it was one month after wife said she wanted to separate. I went to a gig with her and since been to a few gigs with her and been to a few theme parks together. We get on great, she's attractive and great company.
We went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach together today. But I'm the nice guy who arranges great days out for her, goes hunting for 45 minutes for a gluten free sandwich for her, listens to all her problems and listens to her complain about the guy who she shagged all last night, how she wishes he was more like me and he takes ages to text her back. And I just think, what the fuck is wrong with me. Just pissed off. Yet again, I'm the nice guy who she needs to have fun with, go out on days out, but again doesn't want, she wants another guy to shag her.
Just wonder if I would be best getting my sexual urges from men at the minute, I wonder if it was easier. I haven't tried it and not sure if I will like it but anything has got to be better than what I am doing now. Because I swear that women can smell the desperation on me.
I'm not sure I could cope with living in a relationship with a man, I could NEVER live without having sex with a woman. But if I had a buddy, where we could suck each others cocks, maybe have Vers anal, get on with him ok. I might feel less desperate with women, become a better man, get fitter and work on myself.
Just not sure how to find him. Sorry for the rambling, it's just been a long hard, frustrating, yet fantastic day but yet again left so disappointed and frustrated.