I dont know whether i ll change or not
I have been reflecting so much internally.. My behaviours. What i have done to partners. Some say mental illness doesnt give green flag for abuse. But i was an abuser in all my romantic relationships. I didnt know exactly my behavior was repetetive in all relationships until my last relationship ended very badly. I dont know (atleast now) i really loved her or its just a fake but ending of this relationship made me dig deep why i am like this. I have abandoment issues, neglected by my primary caregiver (mother). I have low selfworth, i am extremely jealously. So i want to control and have power over them to keep situation under my control... I do only verbal absuse and extreme manipulations to get what i want from them...
Im not in therapy, i dont know whether my behaviours change in this life... But i now know why i am behaving like this..
I made this image... The monstrous (predatory behaviour) i do, and what is loving behaviour.... Just reflecting....