The collateral damage of "following your heart": Let's talk about the 'undefined cheating' in movies like Tamasha and Dear Zindagi.
I want to talk about a specific recurring theme in some of our favorite coming-of-age/romance movies.
Don't get me wrong—I am a huge believer in the core message of these films. I love movies that are about following your heart, breaking free from the shackles of moral and societal rules, and escaping that feeling of "compromise" we are all trained to settle for. I have absolutely no hard feelings toward the concepts these movies champion.
But watching them always leaves me with a lingering question about the "collateral damage" left behind in the protagonist's pursuit of ethereal love. Specifically, the undefined cheating situations.
Take two great examples: Tamasha and Dear Zindagi (the one with the "Love You Zindagi" track).
1. Tamasha and the blurred lines of emotional infidelity In Tamasha, our female protagonist, Tara, visits Corsica on a solo trip. There, she meets Ved. They share this incredibly carefree time, exploring the sides of themselves they’ve always hidden. This exploration leads to a massive amount of emotional intimacy (and a blurring of boundaries).
The story goes on, and when Tara returns to reality, she meets her current partner. We don't get the exact details of their relationship depth, but she ends up breaking it off. Whether she confessed what happened in Corsica and he left, or whether she simply realized she didn't want him anymore after experiencing that high—the result is the same.
I’m not entirely sure if her time in Corsica qualifies as outright "cheating," but it raises a thought: There will always be someone out there who seems better, wilder, or more exciting than your current partner. The whole point of a relationship is that we stop looking for them (assuming the current partner is loving and not abusive, of course).
2. Dear Zindagi and the void of self-sabotage Then we have Dear Zindagi. The female protagonist, Kaira, feels a deep, traumatic void in her life, leaving her perpetually confused about her relationships.
She has a decent, stable guy. He clearly ticks off certain needs for her, but she cheats on him during a trip with her charismatic boss/colleague, mistakenly thinking this new guy is the answer to her void. When the truth comes out, she and the stable guy break up. But here is the kicker: she wasn't happy about the breakup. She still liked him and wanted that stability.
Her unhappiness turns to anger when she realizes the new guy (the boss) is a philanderer and never took her seriously. She ends up missing the very partner she betrayed.
The Core Question All of this screen time might only take up a few minutes of the actual runtime, but it really makes me think.
Why are contemporary writers so keen on showcasing these deeply messy, sometimes toxic human behavioral confusions, while simultaneously vouching for an ultimate, ethereal, meant-to-be love? Why do characters have to be so careless with others to "find themselves"?
I could write paragraphs more on this, but I'll stop here. I really want to know what you guys think as viewers. Do we give these protagonists a free pass because they are "finding themselves"?