u/Prestigious-Snow4453

f26, i’d say i’m a late bloomer when it comes to dating. this year alone, i experienced my first kiss and other intimate acts. i’ve gone on more dates this year than i did last year, 1 in 2025 and 3 this year, and many talking stages in the last 2-3 years. but the type of guy i seem to attract, and maybe be attracted to, is the same, just in different fonts. they’re usually charming, funny, quick to lean in sensually (and i’m talking in the first few conversations). they start strong in communication, flirting, compliments, and all that. but over time, and this can be in between 2 weeks to 2 months, they pull back and become inconsistent, immature, and egotistical. like the version they showed me at first was only to win me over or something. now, i will say i am someone who has attached pretty easily and have been working on detachment and trusting myself in when to actually allow the attachment to form. i’ve become weary of how fast guys move, and i will say that i’ve only met them on dating apps so far. ive barely been approached in real life, and the one time i did, the guy gave off the same vibe as the rest. im tired of meeting the same guy and giving them my energy. i know my type and what i like, i just wonder how i can stop meeting these low effort men and actually meet those who are my type.

i went on a date with this guy this past weekend after talking a little for a week. mind you, he started out super strong and i guess “consistent”, but over the course of the week that sort of changed. the day before the date it was radio silence. earlier in the week we had two phones calls in one day, it was really fun and we vibed well. i did pick up though that he talked about himself quite a bit and didn’t really ask me follow up questions on the things i said. i unfortunately let it slide at the time but i kept note of it, because even though im someone who asks follow up questions, i do love it when someone else does, too. so what i noticed throughout last week was that on the phone it’s good energy, he’s charismatic, funny, and the like. through text…very much less than that. coming back to the day before the date, it was silent. no good morning text, no “hope you’re day is good”, which was interesting because he sent those in the previous days before then. his job is like mine, teaching, so i understood how hectic the day could get. but when i heard nothing in the evening, even when i asked to confirm the time we meet each other, i started to get really fed up. so the next day, the day of the date, i waited a few hours to hear back but received nothing until 11am. he texted me what the issue was, something about an incorrect airport time. before i saw the text i had unmatched (feeld) and told him i had because i didn’t hear back about the date. he texted me an hour later and told me there was a schedule issue with his friend and dropping them off at the airport (which i knew he was gonna do saturday), but i don’t know, that could’ve been communicated better. he asked to meet after 5, i said okay ill meet you at x place at 6. at this point i went, not out of excitement, but to see and observe the whole interaction in real life. it was just like the phone call, fun and strong energy. we placed games where we’d ask each toner questions, i was feeling him and he was feeling me. the date went well, we kissed, made out, and sort of planned for when to see each other again.

welllll

communication took another nose dive. on our date i clarified if he was more of a phone/face-to-face person, which i understood, but even then the lack of basic communication was present, even in the small interactions. so yesterday, monday, i didn’t hear from him and he didn’t respond to my last message from sunday, which was me being a little flirty. so i talked to my friends about it and i was like okay, let me get some clarity so id know how to move forward. i texted and asked if we could call last night, at a 11. a couple of hours later he asked for 11:30 since he was still face-timing his sisters. i liked the message. 11:30 rolled around…then 11:40…then 12am. so i gave up, deleted the message thread and am thinking about blocking him, because i just know he won’t bother to tell me why there was no call or why he’s being inconsistent in communicating. mind you he kept calling me beautiful in almost every message and after a while that lost its novelty, he future-planned our second date before we even had the first one and other things we could do together in our first phone call, he was pretty sexual which i didn’t mind but now think that wasn’t a good idea to engage with early on, and sucked at communicating between phone calls and meeting.

i know this was a lot (im surprised but honored you made it this far), but in my perspective i feel like my time was wasted and he gave minimal effort outside of other interactions. he’s in his mid 20’s, me only a month older. but even then…don’t think that’s an excuse to not know how to communicate properly, even if its awkward, it’s better than silence. even if he was no longer interested, saying so would’ve been better than nothing. i want my kiss back lol