u/Prestigious_Guava156

I'm at a convention I've looked forward to all year. I am here vending with my husband. Probably half the room are online "friends". It's nearing the end of the second/last day. I'm now hiding in my car.

I spend so much of my life hiding, often in bathrooms.

I did go up and talk to people yesterday and today. Yesterday was okay after I hyped myself up a lot. One friend was pretty cool and we talked a few times.

Today everybody felt more distant. There's also an activity ppl often do here, but you need to be invited. I was last year, but not this year. I feel like I don't fit in, which is not new. This is everywhere, all the time.

I've had severe social anxiety for decades now. I was badly bullied in high school for over three years. I'm in my 40s and it never goes away. I've done many things to try to help it, but it's minimal.

I'm shocked that I have a husband and a child, honestly. But I rarely see friends IRL.

I'm on the spectrum, but I believe a lot of ppl here are so I don't think it's really that.

My husband even offered to leave early, but this is part of his work.

P.S. I know that comment was a bot, but I have been medically diagnosed with this. I've missed out on a lot of things in life, because of it.