u/PretendWillow3577

I am 15 months into a divorce. I was getting pretty good at trying to minimize conflict/look good for a divorce until my mom was in the icu for 2 months. Since then, my threshold has been very low and I am not sure if it is because of that or because he did something that got me really angry at the same time. My therapist has been congratulating me on moving to anger but I think that plays into my tolerance.

Anyways, it got me thinking, how often are you able to be non-reactive? Is there anything you have noticed that either increases or decreases that threshold?

I just need to vent and absolutely cannot comprehend what goes on in the mind of my ex.

So I was at dinner the other night with a good friend of mine . My twins are best friends with her son. My ex called because he was dropping one of the boys off. I told him I was having dinner with my friend and we were paying and my 16 year old was there until I got home. 30 min later I get a call that telling him I was at dinner with her was abusive and psychological torture and I did it intentionally. I then got a follow up message in detail explaining why, basically because I have told her what an asshole he is and her child plays with ours. I have not discussed his behavior with other parents but she is a good friend who had a similar past relationship.

Meanwhile, 3 months ago, I am not sure if it was the slandering or an ask, but my father in law showed up at her house unannounced told her husband I would dump her as a friend and when asked why "because I am a bad person ". Additionally I have an order of protection and had to have the police ask him to take all of the carefully edited videos of my reactions and talk of me being a narcissist off of Facebook that he was broadcasting to the world.

I am being forced through co parenting therapy and brought this up. He does not see the issue.

According to him, if I have dinner with a friend and he asks me of my whereabouts, answering truthfully is abuse and psychological torture, however sending your dad to her house to tell her I will dump her as a friend and I am a bad person is totally acceptable because he was defending himself. Additionally I am not allowed to tell my good mom friend of 8 years what is going on in my divorce because that is also abusive, but it is perfectly acceptable to blast videos, demeaning messages and comments day after day about me being a narcissist to the entire world in facebook.

I have been forced into it by the court. Has anyone else done this? It is a total nightmare. 10 times worse than couples counseling with the lies.

Sometimes I think the therapist gets it. The other day she stated she wasn't so sure he was a narcicisst (a previous therapist diagnosed him nut he doesn't beleive it). She said he may have had a strong reaction to lising his wife, children, and house.

I was so upset. She knows the history, knows I have ptsd from 11 years ago, I have an order or protection. He was arrested for violating it. This was do to 100's of texts i was receiving daily BEFORE the divorce. I an so confused and dont understand.

He sits and lies and talk about how he has done self reflection and is sorry for not putting the kids first then literally dumped them off at my house on his night because he found out I had plans Friday night.

They sad dad dropped me off and I dont know why. It is just maddening. This is all because he is fighting gor 50/50 but dumps them at my house on his night.

So I am in the midst of a nasty divorce. I listen to podcasts on narcissism, divorcing a narc and I just listened to the body keeps the score.

It is overload and bringing me down.

Any ideas on some funny or uplifting podcasts or audio books that have lifted your spirits?

I am 1 year into a divorce. It has been awful, I got t an order of protection after he was sending hundredsof texts a day, he was arrested and it continued . At one point, when I was unresponsive, he reached out to my mom and started harrassing her.

This is where it gets complicated. I lost my sister to suicide due to narcissistic abuse. She left to get away from him but could no longer tolerate life after 7 years of post separation abuse. My mom was really upset and told me she did not realize how upsetting it was until she experienced it. I was super angry and moved on. Luckily the guardian ad litem told him he woukd lose his kids if his behavior continued and that was the first time he started backing off.

My mom was just diagnosed with a brain tumor. The chance of death is only 3% for her surgery but tge chance of losing some body function, becoming paralyzed, or losing speech and or swallowing ability is much much h higher. The thought of this being her last year of full life is just killing me. The fact that her last communication from her son in law was harrassment with him telling her what a bad mom she is and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree cant get out of my head.

I dont know how to move past this. I have been forced by the court to do co parenting therapy with him and I dont know if I can continue right now.