u/Pretty_Flame

Incoming love letter-esque post. If that makes you puke a little in your mouth, I'm sorry. We all gotta get laid, sometimes, somehow.

Hi, dickhead.

Where the fuck are you? Do you enjoy playing all mysterious and hard to get? With your mischievous smile and focused eyes? I can see behind it, you know.

I'm 28 years of age and I have yet to meet your dumbass. I wonder what you're doing today or thinking about. Hopefully me, even though you don't know me yet.

And I don't know you. But we all have projections of the ppl who fucked us up and... Oh well, we'd like to fuck us.

And I truly find it annoying the way you're making me wait. I'm quite impatient. A bit angry, maybe. Though IDK how threatening a 5'4 girl with a childish face would look. My long hair and stupid big eyes only add to how non intimidating I look.

Though I seem to keep going for things that piss me off, like you, my career in IT or world politics. When do we go French revolution? I'm sick of having to pretend I'm civilized all the time.

Well, some things taste better when they fight back... (Like pineapple which produces enzymes that literally eat you back, or the working class eating the rich), wouldn't you agree? Obligatory ;) emoticon.

I hope I managed to pull off charming dorky nerd. I used all of my brain cells for that flirting attempt.

Anyways, would you be a dear and walk in straight into my very obvious trap card? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Don't be younger than 33 and don't be late, and lead with a gentleman's introduction, preferably.

See ya in my inbox. Or not. I'll find you, either way. Xxx

‎My preferred choice is an Irish accent :P I have had a few connections/interactions with the Irish and I like them, in particular. I also might have watched too much Red Rock & Dublin Murders so now I'm weird.

‎So in the interest of not wasting your time.

‎I'm political. I won't talk your ears off about politics and I won't turn every conversation into a verbal arm wrestling match (unless you are into that) but I will ask you on some issues that matter to me.

‎if you're not into that, totally fine but it just means we'd be incompatible as friends or anything else. I wish you a mighty good day.

‎I don't talk to taken men, in any capacity whatsoever. That includes but isn't limited to: open relationships, poly relationships, swingers, etc. I respect your lifestyle and choices, it's just not for me.

‎I have a preference for slightly older men. I grew up with millennials, so men my own age don't interest me that much. A 5 year gap is my minimum (that's 33 for my folks who don't wanna do maths) but a 10 year gap is my maximum, too.

I'm in the GMT+3/GMT+2 timezone. That means I can't do American/Canadian timezones without fucking up my sleeping schedule... which I'm not willing to do no matter how hot your ass is. So, you have yourselves a mighty good day. Tilts my cowboy hat to you.

‎__

About me:

Slightly insane.

IT girlie.

Love to watch movies and tv shows. Right now I'm watching a silly sitcom called "2 broke girls" and bro I relate. My favorite genres are sci-fi, horror, found footage, and the apocalypse.

I'm family oriented and it's not just because of my culture.

I'm westernized despite not ever leaving the middle east lol. Western media is the best propaganda there is.

Non religious. Only culturally Muslim.

__

‎what I'm looking for:

‎Texting & calling buddy (you must have a sexy accent I'm sorry I don't make the rules)

‎Be interested in my side of the planet, country, culture, etc because I'll be interested in yours

‎Hang out with me on call

Watch movies with me (tell me your fav genre)

‎I'll even watch you play video games as we talk (yes I'll shit talk your abilities)

‎Be funny and sweet

‎Be witty & sharp

‎Break my chesticles because I'll break yours

‎Emotionally intelligent and able to handle different levels of human interaction besides "what's up" and "wyd"

‎Able to handle a conversation and willing to share your world

‎No, I'm not looking for a relationship because LDRs don't work. I'm looking for a friend who isn't looking for more either, even if we may cross into it occasionally.

‎If you decide to message, please put some effort. I put effort into writing this post so I expect the same.

Hey there, lovely stranger.

I hope you're having a good day or night so far.

It's summer time on my side of the planet and I just think why threaten ppl with eternal hell in the afterlife? Just send them to the middle east.

Though everybody always tries to gaslight me by saying that my country's weather is Mediterranean, I stand firm in my belief that I live in the middle of the desert, even though I live atop a beautiful mountain.

I think if I could go to the beach I'd complain less about the heat. I went once and it was a great experience. I think I might have teared up, even.

Anyways, I'm looking for a friend. Yes, a friend, as in... one. I don't do well in bulk. For a few reasons:

1. I'm a bit of a nightmare to get to know. Not because I don't know how to keep the conversation going or because I'm a bitch (without consent) but because I can be a bit guarded and standoffish. Just know that I'm feeling you (not in that way... Yet). I require building a rapport to share a picture, move to another app, or open up. I also don't ever give my real name to protect my privacy.

2. I like to focus my energy as much as possible which means messaging me is a hit or mess. There's a good chance I may not reply to you. Don't take it personally, it just means it didn't scratch a certain itch in me to warrant a response. Yes, it's a flawed method but it's what I have atm.

3. I'm not big on having a lot of friends. I like to keep my immediate social circle small and contained.

Now, allow me to give you some stuff to work with:

- I have a weird and strong interest in abandoned places. One of my bucket list goals is to go explore somewhere abandoned and take a souvenir that is low-key) hopefully haunted. I am terrified out of my mind of spooky shit yet there's a part of me that's like "when is it my turn to get haunted :("

- Speaking of getting haunted, I have a weird and strong interest in the paranormal. The possibility of ghosts or evil entities existing fascinates me. I have no fucking idea why.

- I'm an IT girlie. I regret my choice of career often but I also love it. It's a constant dance between "fuck this, this is BS" and "I'm in awe of this, this is magic". It's basically akin to a shitty relationship where I am also somehow right where I want to be.

- I'll leave it here for now.

If you decide to message, leave me your ASL and a gentleman's introduction. Also my preferred age range is 35-40.

See ya in my inbox.

Hello Reddit.

I'm looking for a virtual companion to make my face light up as soon as my screen does. A man whose presence is felt and appreciated, even with thousands of miles of distance. A man who sees the person behind the screen. Who talks and means it. Who asks and cares. Who shows respect, feels genuine empathy and understands boundaries. Who shows interest in my culture, language, etc and takes me in as a full person.

I like when a man knows his way with words and gets a grip on my heart. A gentleman who knows how to read our virtual chat room and doesn't pull or push too hard, just the right amount. A man whose very essence and identity is built on having integrity, and acting with intentionality.

I miss having someone to chat to everyday. To call and hear his voice. To listen to his voice messages and smile like a moron.

About me: a 28 year old professional with goals and responsibilities that I work hard to achieve and satisfy. I am bilingual: I speak Arabic & English. I'll teach you Arabic and you can give me shit for my English because you're an asshole, and because I like it. I'm only culturally Muslim. Not a believer in anything except myself. I'm kinda of a jerk... but in a friendly manner. I swear a good amount, just a heads up. However, I'm respectful of boundaries and wouldn't want to disrespect you or make you uncomfortable.

I've made a few posts on here over the past few weeks/months, and if they're still up you'll see different flavors of me in each one.

I'm political, because everything is. I'm still learning and forming my views, even when reality is enough to radicalize anyone who isn't a sociopath.

However, I'll still argue with you about everything unless there's proof I'm wrong or I'm not educated enough on the matter... In which case I'll concede or admit the lack of knowledge. I've found that arguing helps me learn... For some reason.

I'd prefer the company of a man aged between 33-40.

If you decide to message, just know that I like to build a rapport first and get a feeling for who you are as a person and whether we click or not before sharing any pictures.

I also only respond to what resonates or intrigues. So if I don't respond, don't take it personally. It just means I wasn't your audience.

Finally, I hope you're having a good day, whoever you are and wherever you are.

Hello Reddit.

I'm looking for a virtual companion to make my face light up as soon as my screen does. A man whose presence is felt and appreciated, even with thousands of miles of distance. A man who sees the person behind the screen. Who talks and means it. Who asks and cares. Who shows respect, feels genuine empathy and understands boundaries. Who shows interest in my culture, language, etc and takes me in as a full person.

I like when a man knows his way with words and gets a grip on my heart. A gentleman who knows how to read our virtual chat room and doesn't pull or push too hard, just the right amount. A man whose very essence and identity is built on having integrity, and acting with intentionality.

I miss having someone to chat to everyday. To call and hear his voice. To listen to his voice messages and smile like a moron.

About me: a 28 year old professional with goals and responsibilities that I work hard to achieve and satisfy. I am bilingual: I speak Arabic & English. I'll teach you Arabic and you can give me shit for my English because you're an asshole, and because I like it. I'm only culturally Muslim. Not a believer in anything except myself. I'm kinda of a jerk... but in a friendly manner. I swear a good amount, just a heads up. However, I'm respectful of boundaries and wouldn't want to disrespect you or make you uncomfortable.

I've made a few posts on here over the past few weeks/months, and if they're still up you'll see different flavors of me in each one.

I'm political, because everything is. I'm still learning and forming my views, even when reality is enough to radicalize anyone who isn't a sociopath.

However, I'll still argue with you about everything unless there's proof I'm wrong or I'm not educated enough on the matter... In which case I'll concede or admit the lack of knowledge. I've found that arguing helps me learn... For some reason.

I'd prefer the company of a man aged between 33-40.

If you decide to message, just know that I like to build a rapport first and get a feeling for who you are as a person and whether we click or not before sharing any pictures.

I also only respond to what resonates. So if I don't respond, don't take it personally. It just means I wasn't your audience.

Finally, I hope you're having a good day, whoever you are and wherever you are.

Yes, we all live in the desert, ride camels, and are on a first name basis with Osama Bin Laden.

Weird way to start a post, I know. But I swear to God whenever I introduce myself to someone, this little voice is in the back of my mind whispering "9/12" and I say "huh?" before it quickly corrects itself and then things suddenly go kaboom.

I'm sorry, it's just that years of American imperialism and propaganda has nested deep inside my poor Arab brain.

Since we're on the topic of America, gotta say: not a fan. Americans you are lovely ppl but your government is insane <3 please stop voting for Trump my savings have been tanked 😭💔

Anyways, hello! When I'm not crying over the state of the world you can find me in my house, hard at work like a good worker bee 🐝 when I'm not working, I'm busy filling up my head with politics and socialist commie propaganda. I'm still learning, so if you are looking for your next CIA brainwashing project, I'm your girl.

I also love first person shooter games where I'm fighting against a horde of zombies and feel that surge of lame adrenaline. Last game I played was "World War Z: Aftermath" and it reminded me of how fun it is to weild a cool ass weapon and believe you have any chance of survival in an actual zombie apocalypse.

I like watching movies & tv shows, the way a raccoon likes to go through the neighborhood's trash and share its opinions on yelp. Last movie I watched was "cold storage" and Liam Neeson is so fucking cool. The sheer energy of "I do not give a single fuck if we all die with me included" is the kinda energy I try to embody, but I am no legendary Liam Neeson.

So why am I here, dear stranger? Well... I'm bored and lonely. All I do is work and watch cherry propaganda without any sweet sexy voice of reason to check on me that I haven't yet fell in with some comrades and to combat my ever growing sense of loneliness and isolation 🤧

The closest thing I can describe to what I really want is a kinship, more than just a connection. To know you're always there. When I knock on your screen after a long day, you're already there grounding my ever growing hot molten insanity and in return I promise my company to be gentle, sweet and just the right amount between affection and the psyche ward.

I've been described as funny, helpful, caring, intelligent (enough to trick any adult man into liking me against his better judgement), intense which is a word WEAK ppl use, and passionate. I'm tired of thinking about more good things to say about myself so whatever you're thinking of, I am that and more. Just project your ideal woman onto me, we all project onto strangers how our parents fucked us up.

I have a thing for men who are cunts. It's hot. I can't control it. If you're an actual dickhead, fuck all the way off. If you're the kind to say "well how can I be a cock and a pussy?" as some kind of "checkmate atheists". Hop right into my DMs, ugh I already hate you.

I'm political. I'll ask you about some hot button issues that are important to me when you dive into them DMs. I care that you are interested in me as a person, not just a good time. I know I'm hilarious but I'm still a sensitive brilliant humble cutie underneath the absurdity of it all.

My preferred age range is 33-40. I was raised with millennials. Ppl my age would probably think I'm cRiNgE... Because nowadays everything is cringe. You are cringe. This post is cringe. Existence is cringe. All of it is so damn cringe.

My preferred location/timezone is GMT+2 or somewhere around it. Also a lovely accent/voice is much appreciated.

If you decide to message, please put some effort and personality in it. I answer to what resonates. Good luck and may God be with ye. You're gonna need it. We both will.

Hello people of reddit. I hope you're having a lovely day/evening so far.

I know myself to be tough as nails but I don't really want to be like that all the time. Which is why I'm looking for a casual phone companion who is funny, witty, smart, empathetic, well spoken, flirty, charming and pisses me off. I do enjoy someone getting on my nerves, in the right way. An interesting accent or sexy voice is bonus points, if you have both it's a lethal combination.

But what I'd appreciate most is your kind gentle presence that would help my stress melt away and my worries be quiet for a bit. I have a bit of a stressful life, with a good amount of responsibility and pressure to be or achieve XYZ, not just for my sake but for the sake of ppl I care for too.

I'm not really the type to vent or bitch and moan, though I used to be. I just want a sweet distraction wrapped in a sincere human being who my heart feels close to, even if my body isn't.

I can be a bit forward in what I think or want. You won't guess with me. I'll just tell you. I'll tell you if I like you, or if I think you're handsome, or if I'd like to call because it's been an extra stressful day and I want your company, I'll tell you if I feel like our connection isn't giving me what I need. I'll tell you what I think or feel... And sometimes all you'll have to do is ask.

Most of all I want you to be sincere and have integrity in the way you talk and interact with me. I might be reserved and guarded, but I hold myself to certain standards when it comes to human connection and I hope you'd have some of those standards yourself, too.

Here's some basic bitch info to work with:

I work in IT. I like video games. My taste ranges from retro 90s/early 2000s to modern beasts like "world war Z: aftermath". I'm trying to learn more and get more informed when it comes to politics, so if you're willing to teach me (more) I'd be grateful. I'd say I'm leftist. Despise American and Western imperialism, because it destroyed my homeland and overall region. I'm Arab, from the middle east. Only culturally religious since my religion and culture can be almost indistinguishable.

Don't be under 33 or older than 40, please. Also not taken or in a relationship of any sort. Can't do American/Canadian/Australian timezones because the time difference is too vast and brutal for me.

See ya in my inbox.

PS: I may or may not respond to your message. Nothing personal or intentional, I only respond to what resonates. Do with that information what you will.