How do I help my husband transition to being a stay at home dad?
My husband was recently told by his work that they would be letting him go. Between the two of us I make the larger salary and we just had our second kid. He started looking at the numbers and made the case to me that we would be better off with him staying at home with our kids (3yr and 2mo) and not having to pay for two kids to go to daycare.
Up until this point my husband worked like 60hours a week and had a long commute. So even though we both work for the past 3 years I’ve done the majority of cooking, cleaning, childcare pick ups, doctors appointments etc. While I have 12 weeks FMLA my husband only had 2 weeks off after our 2nd baby was born. So he has never been on his own with both kids. On weekends it’s either all 4 of us together or we “divide and conquer”. Although our eldest goes to daycare on weekdays I usually have both kids by myself for a few hours each day before and after “school” while my husband is at work.
I’m really worried about my husband adjusting to the SaHD role. Like I said up until now I’ve been the “default parent” so it would mean him taking on a lot of new responsibilities he hasn’t had before. Also, he says he feels like he lacked community due to his work hours/ long commute but I worry he will still feel really isolated taking care of the kids without another adult around. Lastly, until now a lot of his identity and sense of self worth has been wrapped up in his career and I’m worried about how he will adjust to leaving that career behind.
He is a brilliant man and a loving father but I know this will be a challenging transition for him.
Im looking for advice on how to support him and help him thrive as a SaHD. Thank you in advance.