r/StayAtHomeDaddit

Our toddler has brought home three different colds in two months and sitting in the nursery during naptime feels stale. Made me realize we barely open the windows in here once the heat kicks on.

I started looking into air quality stuff to see if poor airflow is making everyone groggy during the day. Seems like NDIR sensors are the way to go but prices are all over the place. I saw Aranet4 mentioned a few times on other threads. How are you guys tracking airflow in bedrooms?

Any other stay-at-home dads dealing with a spouse who just doesn’t really engage with the kids?

My wife loves our kids, but she rarely plays with them or intentionally spends quality time with them. Today was pretty typical: she had some work to do this morning, so I took the kids to a pumpkin farm for a couple hours.

When we got back, I made them lunch, then spent the next 3–4 hours outside with them raking leaves, jumping in piles, and riding bikes. She stayed inside watching TV and on her computer and never came out to join us.

That’s basically every weekend.

I’m the stay-at-home parent, so I don’t expect parenting duties to be 50/50. What bothers me is that this isn’t really about chores, it’s about her relationship with the kids. Our oldest is 9 and is starting to ask, “How come Mom never plays with us?”

I think a lot of it comes from how my wife was raised, because her parents didn’t really spend that kind of time with her either. I’ve talked to her about it several times, but nothing changes, and she doesn’t want to do counseling.

I’m not looking to leave her. I’m just sad that the kids are getting older and missing out on that relationship with their mom.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? Did anything actually help besides continuing to bring it up?

So, here's a quick breakdown. Boy's almost two, his mom and I split a few months after he was born. We're co-parenting and still amicable. I had money saved up because I planned on being the SAHD until Preschool, pre-K. So it's been me and him during the day until she picked him up after work.

Now, the money is gone after some financial woes, and I'm going back earlier than I expected. I started last week, and brothers, I'm hurting.

This has been a sudden, jolting, and terribly sad adjustment to my routine that I had with him for a year-and-a-half. I went from terrified first-time dad, to forging a bond with him stronger than anything I've ever felt. I'm now especially missing my favorite time that I had with him, mornings. I'd pick him up from his mom's every morning, and we'd come here, he'd be waking up still, so he'd have his milk and a breakfast snack, and we'd be watching his shows and reading his books, and once his snack and milk was done, he'd turn to me on my lap and go "Hi, Daddy, hi" and give me a huge hug. That meant he was ready for the day. Then he'd hop off and play with his toys, or find something to do, then we'd start the rest of our day.

I leave my job now around 1, so I still see him for a few hours before his mom gets him, and my weekends with him are the same, but I'm a creature of habit and routine, and this new normal is hitting me hard. I know I have to work, and I have to provide for him, but it's like I'm in mourning for my old life with him. The old routine. Our mornings. The freedom to go on random adventures or go to breakfast or lunch or pick and place and go. I still treasure my time with him, but at least right now, it doesn't feel like it used to. It's not quite the same, it's wearing an "our old life" wig and pretending it's real. If that makes any sense.

Sorry for the rambling and ranting, but I don't have a great support system, my best friends had their kids in daycare once they turned 4 months, so they're helpful, but they don't really understand. That's why I'm turning to here and hopefully meet a few of you fellas who've been in my shoes.

Any kind words or motivation or advice would be appreciated like gold. Thanks for reading and taking the time.

So back story I have 3 kids, I sit cross legged all the time. I constantly kick my self in the nuts....Am I the only one?